(insert pithy rejoinder here)

Love Letters Gone Wrong – Fifteen

It’s time time for another round of LOVE LETTERS GONE WRONG! Every Friday I feature a LOVE LETTER GONE WRONG submitted by an anonymous blogger. Sunday morning I reveal the secret admirer’s identity with a link to the blogger’s home page. If you’d like to submit some truly heinous love letters please send them to heellisgoa@gmail.com.

This week’s love letter was written by a blogger who “Liked” the Shwarama SPaM post. Check out this post and then return to the comments here to guess who the secret admirer is. The first correct guess wins a free copy of my ebook.

**************

Dear Hellis,
 
My signifcant other and I have been looking to expand our sexual horizons. Expanding our twosome to a threesome is new territory for us. We weren’t sure where to start to look for our victim playmate. We found this website, perhaps you’ve heard of it. It’s called lickalottapussy.com. While the women on that site all seem willing, they  look like the skankiest skanks. Then I thought of you. Not that you’re one of the skankiest skanks or even a skank. But you’ve mentioned that it’s been awhile since you’ve been in a relationship with a man and so I’ll look great to you and your comments are filled with sexual tension and innuendo of a girl on girl nature so I know my significant other will be pleased. We’ve been following your blog for weeks now or maybe a few days. The days all run together so it’s hard to remember. I blame the alcohol or the drugs. So what do you say? The three of us together could party like rock stars and have wild monkey sex. I’m not exaggerating about the monkey sex. My back is very hairy so it will be like having sex with a monkey. My significant other is from France so she’s kinda hairy, too.
 
Sid & Nancy

27 responses

  1. NC Coot

    While I can’t venture a guess, I also can’t get monkeys out of my head.

    Wild read! Thanks!

    Like

    April 6, 2012 at 1:19 am

  2. Imagine my disappointment when that site turned out to be a bogus one :-/ .

    Like

    April 6, 2012 at 1:20 am

  3. This kinda makes me wanna vom, you know my stance on girl on girl action and hairy? really? I do not like hairy men, no, no, no. I am going with El Guapo, not that I want it to be him because whoever wrote this needs … Help ahaha.

    Like

    April 6, 2012 at 4:44 am

    • Are you suggesting that El Guapo is in fact NOT hairy? To be safe I’ll put you down for El Guapo as the first guess of who wrote this letter.

      Like

      April 6, 2012 at 5:43 am

  4. Love the letter. Very juicy. Is that appropriate to say? Someone guessed EG, and he could be the writer. Hotspur might be it too. Those are the only people I know well enough to imagine writing this, but I need to check out more of your followers…not looking for monkey hair, just writing styles.

    Like

    April 6, 2012 at 6:21 am

  5. I missed these little Friday gems! I think this is the work of Mr. Hotspur.

    Like

    April 6, 2012 at 7:38 am

  6. You can call it inside info, but I’m going with Sid on this one.

    Like

    April 6, 2012 at 8:09 am

    • Of course you do.

      Like

      April 6, 2012 at 9:22 am

      • You know you could make this game harder if you would blur out the names at the bottom of the page.

        Like

        April 6, 2012 at 11:09 am

  7. Stephen King.

    Like

    April 6, 2012 at 9:56 am

    • Once again Mr. Hotspur out does us all.

      Like

      April 6, 2012 at 10:23 am

      • I am not magic. Or especially awesome. Just sort of.

        Like

        April 6, 2012 at 11:06 am

        • Don’t sell yourself short. You’re magically delicious.

          Like

          April 6, 2012 at 4:51 pm

  8. The man with the hot spurs.

    Like

    April 6, 2012 at 10:00 am

    • John votes for resident smart ass, Edward Hotspur.

      Like

      April 6, 2012 at 10:24 am

  9. Thanks so much, Megan – I’m touched and concerned.
    Sadly it isn’t me. I would never marry a french woman.Waaaay to hairy.

    My vote is best bathroom books. Gotta be him. Dude is bent, and probably loves the hairy women.

    Like

    April 6, 2012 at 10:14 am

  10. El Guapo votes Les with more hair.

    Like

    April 6, 2012 at 10:25 am

  11. I’d vote for myself based on the hairy back, but, sadly, I did not write this gem. I’ll say Mr Hotspur.

    Like

    April 6, 2012 at 10:38 am

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