It’s SPaM…The Sequel!
*** YUP, I’M STILL WRITING. HERE’S A REPLAY OF MY IDIOT FRIEND AND UBER SIDEKICK JEB’S SPAM POST. HE’S BEEN AWAY FROM BLOGGING DUE TO SOME PRETTY AWESOME HAPPENINGS IN HIS LIFE WHICH I WILL BE FILLING YOU IN ON SOON ***
It’s time for another helping of SPaM (Shameless Promotion Mondays)
For today’s SPaM post I’m featuring someone I know personally. Someone larger than life both in appearance and personality. Someone who’s been like an obnoxious little brother, following me around making my life a living HELL. But I got him back by basing a character in my book on him. Then I threatened him with bodily harm if he didn’t make a companion blog to mine. And on that note I give you…
ME: So when did you first realize you were a loser?
JEB: When did we meet?
ME: Are you telling me you can’t remember?
JEB: I’m saying repressed memories fucking suck.
ME: Alright, moving on. You’re in your senior year of college. What are your plans for the future?
JEB: Plans for the future? I don’t plan for the future. 2012 is right around the corner. I plan on getting 3 stars on this level of Angry Birds but that’s about as far ahead as I’m planning.
ME: 2012? Oh that’s right. You’re one of those SciFi loving, Firefly watching, half-virgins aren’t you?
JEB: I’m not a geek. You just wrote me that way. And Firefly is awesome.
ME: Denial is not an attractive quality, Jeb.
JEB: I deny being not attractive. Just ask Megan. Hi!
ME: Calm your hormones and focus.
JEB: You ask the impossible.
ME: I begged you for almost a year to get a blog. What finally changed your mind?
JEB: I discovered there was stuff out there other than porn. And you scare the shit out of me.
ME: Being scared of females explains a lot about your love life.
JEB: I’m not scared of females, I’m scared of YOU. So much rage inside such a small person. As far as females go I have no problem with them, as long as they can cook. If you’ve got time to paint your toenails, you’ve got time to make me a fucking pot pie.
ME: So tell me again, who’s your girlfriend now?
JEB: I’m in between social relations right now. I don’t like to be tied down. Well, wait…
ME: You were a really good sport about letting me base a character in my book on you–
JEB: That’s only because you promised it would get me laid.
ME: So how’s that working out?
JEB: Great for River. Me, not so great. Again, in between social relations.
ME: How does it feel to be cockblocked by a fictional character?
JEB: Kind of like losing an election to a dead guy.
ME: Now that you have a blog, where do you intend to take it?
JEB: Everywhere, I guess.
ME: What is the one thing you’d like the blogging world to know about Jeb?
JEB: That you got “Broomstick” from me (it’s in the book). Everybody needs something to laugh at, so it might as well be me. Also if they’ve got a sister, email me at—
ME: And that’s enough for today. You can follow my buddy at JustJeb.
If you or someone you know has something to promote, like a blog or book or music; just email me at email@example.com. DO NOT PUT “SPAM” IN THE SUBJECT BAR.