(insert pithy rejoinder here)

The Publishing Process In GIF Form

THIS IS A GREAT BLOG POST FROM FORMER UBER AGENT NATHAN BRANSFORD- AN AUTHOR WHOSE BLOG IS A WEALTH OF INFORMATION IN REGARDS TO AGENTING, EDITING AND PUBLISHING. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO I GIVE YOU THIS EPIC REPOSTING OF HIS TAKE ON THE PUBLISHING PROCESS IN GIF FORM!

At first you’re thinking of writing a novel and you’re all…

But then you have an idea!

And you go…

But then you hit page 50 and you’re all….

And then you hit page 75 and you’re all…

But you power through!!

And then you’re finished!!! You have finished a novel!!

Only then find out you have to start querying agents.

So you write your query letter…

You obsess over it…

And then you send it out to agents and you’re all…

Then a couple of days go by and you’re all…

And…

And…

But then you hear from your first agent!! And you’re all…

And…

And it’s a rejection. But it’s just your first one so you’re all…

Then you get a few more and it’s more like…

But then! An agent calls! And they love your work! They want to represent you! And inside you’re like…

But you don’t want your agent to think you’re crazy so instead you’re like…

And you love your agent! When you say “yes” you want to…

 

But instead you go…

And then it’s time to submit to publishers. You are back on submission, and you’re like…

Then the editors start saying….

And…

And your inbox starts looking like…


And you’re all…

And…

And…

But then your phone says your agent is calling. And you want to be like…

But instead it’s more like…

And it’s an offer! You have an offer! And you feel like…

And…

And…

And…

And then you go celebrate with your friends and they’re all…

And on the car ride home you’re still like…

But it’s time for revisions. And you pretend you know what you’re doing…

And it’s back to…

But then you’re done! You’re really really done! Only your book doesn’t come out for another year. And so you’re like…

And…

You get your cover and you’re all…

But then publication day approaches! And your reviews start coming out and it kind of feels like…

But some of them are good! And you’re like…

And then your book is out there! People are reading your book!

And it feels pretty good!

And there’s only one thing to do. Start the whole thing over again.

31 responses

  1. What an excellent portrayal!

    September 26, 2012 at 12:39 am

    • His post is so accurate it is eerie.

      September 26, 2012 at 10:30 am

  2. Or “How To Become An Uber-Masochist 101″.

    September 26, 2012 at 1:18 am

    • With tips on self-flagelation!

      September 26, 2012 at 10:31 am

  3. Looks like you should be writing picture books!

    September 26, 2012 at 1:35 am

    • Now that woild be something.

      September 26, 2012 at 10:32 am

  4. TomEliasWriter

    I wish I could print all this out so I could carry it with me. I have much to learn. I tried hurdles in high school, so I get that pain… I mean really get it.

    September 26, 2012 at 2:05 am

    • Ouch.

      I tried hurdles too, but because of my height they called it “pole vaulting.”

      September 26, 2012 at 4:29 pm

  5. Edward Hotspur

    I wrote a coffee table book. It has little pop up coffee tables, statistics about coffee, and is shaped like a coffee table.

    September 26, 2012 at 5:59 am

    • I have a book like that about penises.

      September 26, 2012 at 4:29 pm

      • That’s what I wrote the coffee table book with. It was a stirring tale.

        September 26, 2012 at 8:40 pm

        • There’s a “cream” joke in there somewhere.

          September 26, 2012 at 8:47 pm

  6. This is like a HR post. Head blag!

    September 26, 2012 at 6:32 am

  7. Le Clown

    Nathan, H.E. Ellis,
    This was an uber clever post, even if it gave me a headache to read. Animated GIF should be banned.
    Le Clown

    September 26, 2012 at 7:41 am

    • Le Clown

      …With Comic Sans.

      September 26, 2012 at 7:41 am

      • I agree, although I vote to keep the one of Jared Padalecki ;)

        September 26, 2012 at 4:30 pm

  8. This is the bomb! It is not helping me feel calm or hopeful or upbeat or centered or cheerful or proud or happy or purpseful or vindicated or needed or wanted or determined or anything. But it was funny… sigh…

    September 26, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    • It motivated me to self-publish. :)

      September 26, 2012 at 4:31 pm

      • Am I just crazy for wanting to try it the old fashioned way first?

        September 26, 2012 at 4:44 pm

        • No, not at all. The traditional way is just fine. I happen to have Oppositional Defiance Disorder as well as ADHD, so I have a hard time following directions or giving a shit that there are directions.

          September 26, 2012 at 4:48 pm

          • I like to bang my head on the stone walls of society, have gone to jail just to prove how stubborn I am, resist authority with a pathological determination, can’t follow simple instructions, have a rebellious nature, am hard-headed, never do what I am told, and won’t eat my vegetables. I am good to go!

            September 26, 2012 at 4:53 pm

            • You are my new guru.

              September 26, 2012 at 6:17 pm

              • You are my new gnu… (did I spell that right?)…

                September 26, 2012 at 6:43 pm

                • If you mean gnu as in water buffalo then yes, you spelled that right.

                  September 26, 2012 at 6:46 pm

                  • I thought they were a sort of antelopey, gazzelley horsey sort of a thing.

                    September 26, 2012 at 6:57 pm

  9. Ah! So THAT”S the way it’s done.

    September 26, 2012 at 12:07 pm

  10. Yeah. That’s about the size of it.

    September 28, 2012 at 12:49 am

  11. Reblogged this on The Fog of Ward. and commented:
    Yeah, this…pretty much…is The Process.

    September 28, 2012 at 12:50 am

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