A quasi writer avoiding life through Zen meditation and grain alcohol

An Open Letter To Ellen DeGeneres


I cannot think of a better way to honor all that is good about America than to pass along through the freedom of the written word the hopes and dreams of a young person. Please take the time to visit our good friend The Hook today and help him make his girl’s wish come true.

Originally posted on You've Been Hooked!:

Dearest Ellen,

Hello. How are you? That’s great to hear, seriously. Listen, I know you’ve got a full plate in front of you right now (Okay, maybe not literally; you don’t look like you eat that much, to be honest. However, I stand by the statement.), especially considering how many challenges you have to deal with right now.

  • Voicing animated fish is no mean feat. (How do they record your voice underwater anyway?)
  • Arranging for Sofía Vergara to be “accidentally” deported so you can be the reigning CoverGirl has to be a lot of work.
  • Teaching millions of people to dance like no one is watching while hosting a kick-butt talk show must be exhausting. And sweaty, no doubt.

Normally I use this forum to write about my life as a bellman in Niagara Falls, but today I want to write to you from my heart.

I’ve been married to…

View original 862 more words

4 responses

  1. Let freedom ring.
    Thanks, buddy.

    July 4, 2013 at 1:22 pm

  2. You’re welcome, and good luck!

    July 4, 2013 at 1:23 pm

  3. This is such a funny, tender and beautiful letter. It had me close to tears. I sure hope it hits it’s mark.

    July 4, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    • I hope so too. I love when young people wish for big things, especially when I can help.

      July 21, 2013 at 9:43 am


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