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Author Archive

It’s Funny Blog Friday!

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fbfHappy Halloween and welcome to our first ever Funny Blog Friday! Me, along with a group of other hi-larious bloggers, are celebrating an otherwise spooky holiday with loads of laughter and free stuff! Click the links to participating bloggers at the bottom of the page for a chance at winning prizes and to read a lot of funny blogs, too.

Since our first Funny Blog Friday has fallen on Halloween, I thought it only appropriate to call on one of the rantiest funniest people…er, “beings” I know for a good laugh. (more…)


Welcome Good People of Robinson High!

The Gods of Asphalt

My daughter just called to tell me that you nice folks at the Media Center are considering adding my book, THE GODS OF ASPHALT to your shelves to which I say, FANTASTIC!

She also told me that you would be checking out my blog for reviews to which I say,

Uhm….

My blog is a bit irreverent, so you can just skip reading all the posts and go straight to the reviews which you will find here:

THE GODS OF ASPHALT REVIEWS

Seriously, there is nothing worthy to read on the blog posts. Don’t even waste your time. No need to click. Just don’t.


Disturbing Ode to a Literary Agent

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A laborious and lengthy session of work on REAPERS WITH FANGS has led me to the sad conclusion that my writing needs work, so I’ve decided to give a bit of prose a try in an effort to beef up my chops.

Poetry and prose is not an area I am comfortable with as you will see, but the spirit of Halloween got the better of me and I rose to the occasion.

For better or worse I bring you:

 

 

 

 

 

 

DISTURBING ODE TO A LITERARY AGENT 

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Raider Nation’s Reluctant Member

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dm_140917_nfl_Predict_OAKNEOn the heels of the ass-whooping the New England Patriots gave the Chicago Bears last Sunday, I’ve decided to rerun a post that should do a good job of summing up my present state of misery as a former Pats fan:

Picture the scene:

It’s February 2012 and yours truly is glued to the television, elbows deep in clam chowda, an ice cold rack a pounders within reach. The iconic opening of O Fortuna pours out of the speakers and my heart begins to pound in anticipation. I move closer to the screen just as the un-mistakeable sound of Ozzy screaming, “ALL ABOARD!” heralds the moment I’ve been waiting for– the moment my beloved New England Patriots take the field for SuperBowl XLVI. (more…)


You Named My Phone Benedict Cumberbatch

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bcSo thanks for that. Now I have to type nineteen characters every time I refer to my phone. Dicks.

There were some “Other” creative offerings as well such as:

  • Elvis
  • Yoda
  • Preachy Capt. Kirk (PMAO)
  • Surly Chewbacca (BrainRants)
  • Aunt Edith who always correct me (SNB)
  • Trent “Buckeye” Lewin (I wonder who?)

(more…)


Funny Bloggers Wanted! #FBF

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H.E. ELLIS:

Check out the funny here:

Originally posted on Angst:

FUNNY BLOGGERS: WE WANT YOU!!! Are you a funny blogger?  Do you know a funny blogger?  Do you read someone who’s hilarious, sarcastic, inventive, crazy or inspired in their madness?  Send them our way!! Or if you’ve self-declared, We want YOU!  SEND OUT THE WORRRDDDD!!

A few of us bloggers (who have deemed each other funny) are going to participate in a Funny Blog Friday (#FBF) blog hop on Friday October 31. There’ll be prizes and of course a boat-load of funny blogs for your reading pleasure.

Why not make Friday even better than it normally is with a few funny insightful sarcastic bloggers poking fun at the world or themselves?

Additionally, we’ll be attempting to make every Friday funny on Twitter with the hashtags: #FBF and #FunnyBlogFriday

If you want to join and be added to the list please email me: victoria (at) angstanarchy (dot) com

These are the…

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Vote To Rename Benito!

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I namebenito_mussolini_02d my phone Benito. Why? Because my phone is a Fascist, that’s why. Fascist in that it starts inputting words as I type- words the phone thinks I want to use, only to guess wrong and insert its own word anyway. You have a phone like that too? Well grab a name tag and a donut because you’re the newest member of my anti-fascist phone support group.

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Andiamo Columbus!

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isnthcina_fullsizeCaio Lettori!

That’s “Hello Readers!” according to Google Translate. Being Italian I should technically know how to say that on my own, but my family’s dialect is far too regional to communicate anything coherent. Luckily I had the chance to interview fellow Italian and renowned world traveler, Christopher Columbus. Let’s hope his English is better than my Italian: (more…)


Hellis’ Top Ten Horror Movie Villains

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Pennywise018In honor of the season I’ve decided to tackle the topic of horror movie villains. Since no one loves a good horror flick more than I do, I’ve decided no Hellis list could be complete without my ten personal favorites. I give you:

THE TOP TEN SCARIEST HORROR MOVIE VILLAINS OF ALL TIME (more…)


Hellis Loses Her Mind on an Airplane

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3216573-2967628339-ren-2The Universe is trying to convince me that I am a hot bubblin’ cauldron of crazy, I shit you not. The story I am about to tell to you actually happened to me on a flight not too long ago.

Let’s take a moment to set the stage: (more…)


Hellis Breaks Her Phone And Humiliates Herself

Chewy

article-2575658-1C1B525800000578-218_306x462DISCLAIMER:

I am officially running on two hours of sleep over the course of three days, so no guarantees on the cohesiveness or relevance of this post. 

I put up a post not long ago about my new phone and my strange text message encounter with someone looking for whomever had my number last (you can catch it here. Remember the name “Lokepa”). Well, it turns out that I would only have that phone for about a month or so before I dropped it and broke it (please don’t ask me how. One embarrassing post a day is enough). (more…)


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