The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Conversations With My Mother – Volume Two

Telephone call I received from my mother after I told her I started a blog:

MOM: “I’m on the Yahoo right now and I can’t find you.”

ME: “Huh? The Yahoo…oh, if you’re talking about my blog it’s

MOM: “I tried typing that and it’s not working.”

ME: “Where are you typing it in?”

MOM: “On the computer.”

ME: “No, I mean…when you look at the screen what box are the letters appearing in as you type?”

MOM: “Uh…the box that says, ‘Search Web.'”

ME: “OK, try this instead. Look up at the top of the screen to a long horizontal box. That’s called an address bar. Type in there.”

MOM: (mumbling something about how stupid the word “blog” is as she types). “I typed inside that bar like you said but nothing happened. I hate computers. You know it was an Italian who first invented radio communication. Technology’s all gone down hill since then…”

MOM: “Mom, I need you to focus.”

ME: “Fine, fine. There. See? It’s not working.”

ME: “What came up after you typed in the address bar?”

MOM: “A screen with pictures of street maps.”

ME: “Maps? That doesn’t make any sense…”

MOM: “Oh! I know what I forgot to do. Give me a minute…alright. Now, what’s your zip code?”

ME: “My zip code? What do you need that for?”

MOM: “I forgot to type it in the address bar after ‘New Hampshire.'”

ME: “Mom…why are you typing New Hampshire at all?”

MOM: “Well how else is the Yahoo going to find you?”

ME: “Yeah. Put my sister on the phone.”


6 responses

  1. Sounds like my son….great read

    September 4, 2011 at 12:29 pm

  2. That is so freakin’ hilarious! I absolutely know what it’s like to be on your end of that conversation! I think you were much more patient than I would have been…

    September 5, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    • Unfortunately my piss poor grasp of the Italian language forces me to be more patient than I’d like, convinced that I’m the one at fault for the miscommunication. Secretly, I think she gets every word.

      September 5, 2011 at 5:55 pm

  3. I could just cry. I am not patient when it comes to my mother and that sounds like a conversation we would have. With her, it’s the GPS and directions. So painful. Thanks for the laugh.

    September 22, 2011 at 10:47 am

  4. 🙂 so true.

    December 12, 2011 at 11:09 am

    • Yay! I’m not alone!

      December 12, 2011 at 11:11 am