The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Fuck Everything and Become a Pirate

So it turns out WordPress has a feature that allows you to see what search engine terms people use to find your blog. I have discovered that someone, somehow, found my blog by typing in the phrase, “fuck everything and become a pirate.” I have just one thing to say to this person.

I love you.

Please come back. And bring friends. I’ll bring rum.


23 responses

  1. You site is terrific, I really enjoy it and will visit frequently.

    September 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    • Thanks! Now the pressure is on…

      September 4, 2011 at 12:29 pm

  2. Some of my most popular are “slutty lipstick” “Peggy Bundy wet soaking” and “Chinese symbol for bitch” so I was starting to feel like cheap porn. I had about enough the other day with “Beaver nation cheerleader picture” until I figured out they were looking for football. 😉

    September 4, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    • I am soooo there!

      September 4, 2011 at 12:41 pm

  3. Yaaarrgggh! Piratery all the way.

    Avast ye’ salty scurvy ridden seadogs! Play me a dirge or it’ll be to the locker with ya!

    September 4, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    • It’s like you’re trying to communicate with me somehow…

      September 4, 2011 at 1:12 pm

      • Some of the search engine terms where people find my blog are …. interesting. Spiderman porn is probably the best.

        September 4, 2011 at 3:10 pm

  4. Imogen Shepard

    No effing way? That’s craziness! I’m speechless,seriously. I’ll give it 6 months b4 seeing what if anything mine turns up with.

    September 4, 2011 at 1:50 pm

  5. that’s probably the best search ever. i’m totally jealous. especially since most people find my blog by googling “Omarosa”.

    September 4, 2011 at 1:50 pm

  6. Haha, that’s such a random way to find your blog. Still, it’s pretty awesome!

    September 4, 2011 at 1:53 pm

  7. Ahaha that’s funny 😛 I love it, I want this person to be my friend too ahah, I have seen the paper back of your book to, amazing! Everyone should read it, trust me 🙂

    September 4, 2011 at 2:53 pm

  8. theothercanary

    We recently had one that read: if i was in charge, i’d try making people live a lot longer, like ole methuselah

    Had me laughing for days. 😀

    September 4, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    • I’m impressed that someone knows who Methuselah was.

      September 5, 2011 at 2:27 pm

  9. Layla

    someone found me today with “vagina torture” … that’s big time, right there.

    September 4, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    • Hmm…makes me wonder what you’re writing over at your blog there, sister. (I’m all over it, by the way).

      September 5, 2011 at 2:29 pm

  10. I happily landed here via whatimeant2say. Love it!

    My top search term is, “does Kate Middelton shave her armpis?”

    September 5, 2011 at 10:05 am

  11. Not gonna lie, someone got to my film blog with the search phrase “liam nesson’s cock” Not sure what the hell to think on that

    September 5, 2011 at 11:19 pm

    • Yeah, I’m at a loss for a moment in time when I heard that Liam Neeson made a film with full frontal nudity. Jim Nabors on the other hand…

      And…now I have to screw with your blog.

      September 6, 2011 at 4:00 am

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  13. I absolutely just blogged about how people find me. It’s more than ridiculous to know all the ways people search and click on your blog.

    September 23, 2011 at 10:50 am

  14. Someone found my blog with “Quantified Self Penis”.

    February 24, 2012 at 7:53 am