The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Shit My Kid Does

Actual phone call I received from the Vice Principal of my son’s middle school:

VP: “Hello, this is Ms. P from Junior’s school. Is this Ms. Ellis?”

ME: “That depends. What did he do?”

VP: “I have Junior in my office this morning. I’m afraid there was an incident involving his Spanish class today.”

ME: “Spanish class…like, the whole class?”

VP: “Let me start by saying that Junior came to see me a few weeks ago over a concern he has with his Spanish teacher. Junior believes Ms. XXXX treats the boys unfairly, so I told him I would look into the situation. After speaking with Ms. XXXX she assured me that the boys and girls were treated equally. Apparently my assurances weren’t good enough for Junior.”

ME: “I’m so afraid to ask.”

VP: “From what Junior has told me he paid all the girls in his class five dollars each to speak French for the day.”

ME: “Speak French…in Spanish class…”

VP: “Yes. I’m afraid Ms. XXXX took great offense and has sent Junior to me. He’ll spend the remainder of today and tomorrow in detention.”

ME: “I am sooo sorry for Junior’s behavior. And please, send my apologies to Ms. XXXX as well.”

VP: “I’d like to, but I’m afraid Ms. XXXX resigned as of ten minutes ago.”

16 responses

  1. When I have Kids I hope they are this Amazing 😀 Bless. don’t so to hard on him ahahaha at least it made for a funny blog post 😛

    September 14, 2011 at 8:51 am

  2. Imogen Shepard

    You are kidding me-she resigned?! Oh!! It is funny. Maybe junior done her a favour making her realize she was in the wrong profession. How funny. He sounds like a cool kid.

    September 14, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    • She absolutely resigned. What this post didn’t do justice to was how the Vice Principal fought back laughter for the entire phone call.

      September 14, 2011 at 2:25 pm

  3. Imogen Shepard

    Well I’m glad she saw the funny side of it too and that it proves that not all principles are stuffy nosed snobs and are human too. I bet you and your kid had a right laugh about it!!

    September 14, 2011 at 3:36 pm

  4. With a name like Ms. XXXX, she should have no trouble finding work in… another profession.

    September 15, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    • RCbunny

      That is hilarious, Mr. Hotspur.

      September 16, 2011 at 4:15 pm

  5. Your child sounds inventive and should have a great life. You, maybe not so much ;0) Have a fun one!

    September 16, 2011 at 11:47 am

  6. RCbunny

    Is it wrong of a grown man to look up to a middle-schooler?

    September 16, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    • Not at all. His Principal calls me cracking up most days.

      September 16, 2011 at 6:30 pm

  7. legend , your son…

    September 20, 2011 at 7:33 am

  8. I don’t normally comment on things, but seriously? She resigned? Please, Ms. XXXX, go far, far away from here… should it not take more than one awesome kid to make a teacher resign?

    September 21, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    • She honestly and truly resigned. To be fair, that wasn’t the first stunt he pulled in her class. The Vice Principal did manage to convince her to stay to the end of the school year but yeah, she’s gone.

      September 21, 2011 at 3:10 pm

  9. Not the Broth

    I’d wonder where he gets it from but I have one word to remind you of your past… Lindberg

    (Odd that his antics were in a foreign language class?)

    September 23, 2011 at 10:26 am

  10. Well! Junior certainly knows how to get things done. Is he my dad’s child, by any chance? They have the same by-hook-or-by-crook mentality/methods. LOL.

    October 1, 2011 at 9:12 am

    • I wish I could attribute his penchant for shenanigans to your father but sadly, no; that boy is all me.

      October 1, 2011 at 9:19 am

  11. Hilarious! I hope mine turns out this good. That was utterly brilliant!

    May 6, 2012 at 11:06 pm