The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

The Versatile Blogger Award

Ladies and Gentlemen (drum roll, please)…I’ve been nominated for The Versatile Blogger Award!

In order to accept this award I must follow the rules, and if you are nominated you’ve got to follow them as well.


1. Thank and link the person who nominated you.

2. Share seven random facts about yourself.

3. Pass this award onto 15 new blogging friends.

4. Contact and congratulate the awarded bloggers.

I’d like to thank the first blog who nominated me:


Take one part new mommy, two parts struggling student and blend on “high.” Serve hot or cold with a side of biting wit and you’ve got The Procrastinator. A must for anyone into photography or writing who doesn’t take it all too seriously.

Next I’d like to thank the second blog who nominated me:


By far one of the funniest blogs out there. Think Erma Bombeck with an edge. Pictures of her bulldog alone are worth the click to her site. Definitely a must for anyone amused by the small moments in life.

Also making the list:

  • A WOMAN’S GUIDE TO WOMEN: One of the most helpful blogs for understanding the female mind. Even though I’m a woman the stuff we do and how we think makes absolutely no sense to me.
  • ANOTHERPLOTDEVICE: I’m a snob when it comes to movies and this blog lets me know what’s out there that’s been sadly overlooked by audiences.
  • ASHLEY JILLIAN: A ballerina with a wicked sense of humor. Sounds like someone else I know.
  • BRAINRANTS: A seriously funny dude with a seriously funny blog despite his head-scratching attachment to west coast sports teams.
  • EDWARD HOTSPUR: Ah…Edward Hotspur. Just where do I begin? When I think of Edward Hotspur I think of Star Wars — he can’t just be read, he needs to be experienced…
  • IMONTHEBANDWAGON: One man, one band, a twisted roadie and a box full of British celebrity sock puppets. Need I say more?
  • KAYJAI’S BLOG: She lives on an island and she runs (I’m guessing in big circles). How awesome is that?
  • LIFEINTHEFARCELANE: Yes, my soul sister. Anyone into ballsy chicks who are too good for the guys around them needs to check out this blog.
  • MADISON WOODS: A wonderful blog for writers because she involves the community. A great place to find support as well as have fun.
  • MY BYE WORLD: This is a blog penned (typed?) by one tough lady. Her positive outlook on life despite adversity will inspire you.
  • REASONS WHY I’M STILL SINGLE: One hot mess. Seriously people, we need to hook my boy Calhoun up.
  • THE DISTRICT OF MISERY: A blog that delivers timely and educational information about the state of our government and planet, minus the soapbox.
  • THE SATURATED PAGE: I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for fellow New Englanders, so believe me when I say that this blog is “wicked awesome.”
  • THE THROWDOWN: Sports and entertainment delivered with a sense of humor. What’s not to like?
  • VERYNORMAL: I’ve saved the best for last because not only is my girl Megan cute as hell and British, but she’s got her shit together more than half the women I know that are twice her age. She’s who I want to be when I grow up.

And now onto…


 1. I’m half Italian and half Irish; which means I’ve got a wicked temper but I have other people fight my battles.

2. If I wanted to I could become a professional ten pin bowler. Seriously, I’m that good.

3. Even though I’m a New Englander I’ve spent almost half of my life in South Florida. When I get pissed you can tell.

4. I tell everybody I’m five feet tall but I’m really four eleven and a half. Shhhh…

5. I have the world’s weirdest resume. I’ve had jobs where I’ve driven dump trucks as well as worked for years at Victoria’s Secret. I’ve been a substitute art teacher; cheerleading coach and jizz booth mopper (guess which one paid the best).

6. I give everyone around me advice, whether they ask for it or not. So for all the young girls out there: If you take one Catholic school girl and add one pretty boy on a motorcycle and then factor in one strict Navy father you get one COLOSSAL MISTAKE.

7. I’m in love with the tasty chowder guy (and no, the fan girl is NOT me. I’m a lady, God damn it):

25 responses

  1. Congrats! I wish I was awesome enough to get nominated for something.

    I think I’m going to review your book on my blog in November. Contact me.

    September 21, 2011 at 10:41 am

  2. I’m half Italian and half Irish … Your mother was clearly very brave! ahaha

    September 21, 2011 at 10:45 am

    • Oh yes and thanks 😛 I have done mine now 🙂

      September 21, 2011 at 12:00 pm

  3. shazam! honored to top the list of “also making the list”!

    September 21, 2011 at 10:48 am

  4. As Elvis (who was also a Tanker) said: “Thankya, thankya verymuch.” I take it as a serious compliment that a writer as talented as you are thinks I’m funny.

    September 21, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    • And now…you’re “Tasty Brainrants Guy.”

      September 21, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    • Also, I’m not smart. So…what’s a tanker? (I’m letting my mind wander).

      September 21, 2011 at 4:34 pm


    September 21, 2011 at 5:43 pm

  6. Hahaha @ Chowder guy

    September 21, 2011 at 6:39 pm

  7. Wow! We have so much in common. I was a jizz booth mopper too! OK, not really. But I am a Catholic school girl whose half Italian and half Irish. OK, I guess it’s not that much in common. Hey, but we both got the Versatile Blogger Award! Congrats on TWO nominations!

    September 21, 2011 at 6:52 pm

  8. Big thanks from all of us at The Throwdown! Being recognized by someone with published print is very cool. Keep doing this kinda stuff and people are gonna think we’re legit. They’ll be horribly disappointed to find out what complete hacks we are.

    September 21, 2011 at 8:24 pm

  9. Imogen Shepard

    Hello my dear…love you for nominating moi and the cool words and I should have done this a while back (lack of memory) I shall link you in my blogroll (I’m so bloody new to all of this that the teething pains are still a plenty). Imogen xxx

    September 21, 2011 at 10:20 pm

  10. My response to the lovely nomination is up, in all it’s glory. Thanks, eh!

    September 22, 2011 at 6:20 am

  11. TheIdiotSpeaketh

    My wife is 4’11 1/2″ as well but will go down to her last dying breath claiming that she is actually 5′ even. Great list! Congrats on the award 🙂

    September 22, 2011 at 9:28 am

  12. Thanks for my vote! I’ve done my response 🙂

    September 22, 2011 at 1:06 pm

  13. Congratulations, can’t wait to read more.

    September 22, 2011 at 1:27 pm

  14. Not the Broth

    Congrats! This deserves single malt! (So c’mon! Where the hell’s my single malt?! Don’t make me come up there and alienate that town next door!)

    September 22, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    • Did I tell you about my plan to get Talisker to sponsor my blog? I’ve been working on it all week. I promise you free samples!

      September 22, 2011 at 5:35 pm

  15. Not the Broth

    If you get Talisker to sponsor your blog, I’m moving in.

    September 23, 2011 at 8:03 am

  16. Congrats on a well-deserved honor.

    September 25, 2011 at 9:10 am

  17. steelfenrir

    Congrats on being Half-Irish! Half-Irish people rock![1] And I do the same thing with my height, I’m 5’11 1/2 but being 6′ just sounds cooler.[2] And now onto the main point of this comment, to congratulate you on being a versatile blogger.[3] I’ve been through your blog, and I must say excellent work.[4] Hope to read much more stuff from you.

    [1]If you hadn’t guessed, I’m half-Irish….and half-Indian…..and half-Filipino.
    [2]Muuuuuch cooler.
    [4]It’s like getting a free pencil, then realizing the pencil comes with a Ferrari.

    September 26, 2011 at 1:17 pm

  18. Congrats, again! How long have you been blogging?

    November 28, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    • I’ve been blogging for three months now, and it’s been a blast!

      November 28, 2011 at 8:00 pm

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