The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Oh My Blog Award!

I’ve just been informed by my good friend from THE IDIOT SPEAKETH that I am a recipient of The Incredibly Prestigious Oh My Blog Award! 

Awarded to those folks that recently bravely fought in, showed exceptional bravery and valor in, and then survived, unscathed, the now infamous “Monty Python and the Holy Grail Holy War Blog Apocalypse Mudslinging Shoutfest of 2011 presented by Depends Undergarments.”


Miranda at Scattering Moments
Lisa at Woman Wielding Words
Jamie at The Life of Jamie.
Steve at The Odd Ramblings
Tori at The Ramblings
Mrs. Firepants at whatimeant2say
Sparrow at Sparrow’s Ramblings
Jackie at The Slowvelder
nrhatch at Spirit lights the Way
Blog buddy John Erickson (No blog)
My Blonde Cousin Whitney (No blog)

In order to receive my award, adherence to the following rules is mandatory:

1. You must display this award on your own blog so that others will know of your service and bravery. – DONE AND DONE.

2. You must do a solo interpretive dance to any 70′s Disco song of your choice, preferrably while wearing underwear. I ONLY WEAR UNDERWEAR WHILE I POLKA. DISCO IS STRICTLY DONE COMMANDO.

3. You must list on your blog, or in comments to this post, a detailed description of your most embarrassing obsessive-compulsive disorder affliction: IT IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO READ A MAGAZINE FROM FRONT TO BACK. BEING LEFT-HANDED, I FIND IT EASIER TO READ IT BACKWARDS. CANNOT MAKE MYSELF READ IT THE OTHER WAY.

4. You must try to visit at least 3 new blogs today. Go to blogs you already visit and then visit the the blogs of 3 commenters who’s blogs you have never visited. I HAVE VISITED ALL OF THE ABOVE!

5. You must approach someone within your family, workplace, or school, that is obviously having a bad day, and you must grab them by the shoulders, shake them violently if needed, and then scream at the top of your lungs…”Lighten up already!! SMILE!!!! Life is too freaking short to be in a bad mood!!!” If you honestly have no one you can accost, a small pet, toy, stuffed animal, or ham, will also work.  AS A MATTER OF FACT I DID THAT VERY THING THIS MORNING! ALL IT GOT ME WAS A LONG, RAMBLING FOLLOW-UP EMAIL HAVING SOMETHING TO DO WITH ATHEISM…



18 responses

  1. Congrats!?!?!!!

    October 5, 2011 at 6:58 pm

  2. I read magazines backwards too, but only because I am weird/they last longer

    October 5, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    • You make the third person today to mention how reading magazines back to front make them last longer. There’s marketing gold in there somewhere.

      October 6, 2011 at 11:03 am

  3. TheIdiotSpeaketh

    SPOOOKY……. I read magazines backwards as well……and have always been told I was a freak for doing so……. Now, at least I know I am not the only freak…. and I love Stevie Wonder! Thanks for reminding me to add him to the list of people I still need to profile…. I am now clicking on some “Sir Duke” on the IPOD!

    October 5, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    • When I mentioned to my kids how I listed reading magazines backwards as my OCD item, they were quick to remind me that I also cannot leave the house without a toothbrush (I brush my teeth constantly) and that I suck my thumb at scary parts of horror movies. So, yeah…way more embarrassing than magazines.

      October 6, 2011 at 11:05 am

  4. 1. I load magazines into weapons.
    2. “Commando” is a way of life, not a clothing choice.
    3. I’d be stimulated by #2 and trace ref. to the blog but since you’re apparently a man…

    October 5, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    • OK, forget what I said on your blog. “I load magazines into weapons” is BY FAR the sexiest thing I’ve ever read. And yeah, sooooo not a man.

      October 6, 2011 at 11:07 am

  5. Pingback: OMG! I Won the OMB! That’s the BOMB! « whatimeant2say

  6. I only read one magazine backward and that is “More” because the “men overheard” and “sex position of the week” sections are in the back! and I am now following all the blogs above!! Woop!!

    October 6, 2011 at 5:23 am

    • I’m wishing they had “More” over here. Sounds awesome.

      October 6, 2011 at 11:10 am

      • I am adding that to my list of things to eventually send you, One, some Kopparberg and now two, an edition of More Magazine 😛

        October 6, 2011 at 11:12 am

  7. I read magazines with one hand. What?

    October 6, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    • So…what are you doing with the other hand?

      October 7, 2011 at 6:39 am

  8. I want to make an intelligent and witty comment, but after reading the comments above, I just have a one handed More magazine backward reading loaded weapon confusion on.

    October 7, 2011 at 11:01 pm

  9. I love the Idiot…to my fellow award winner, I am enjoying your blog and will have to come aroud more often!

    October 11, 2011 at 3:07 am

  10. Congrats! Well-deserved, my friend.

    October 11, 2011 at 10:01 am

  11. Congrats! I so envy you for being left-handed. Reading backwards, does the same thing apply to books?

    November 28, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    • No, generally I don’t like to know the ending of a story before I begin. I’ve ruined more Agatha Christie books that way.

      November 28, 2011 at 7:59 pm