A quasi writer avoiding life through Zen meditation and grain alcohol

Top Ten SPaM

The thing I love most about doing SPaM (Shameless Promotion Mondays) posts is researching the blogger behind the blog. Since today’s SPaM post features KAYJAI’S BLOG I was more than a little excited to learn what just what it is that makes Kayjai tick. Apparently the answer to that question is underwear. In song form. Or conversations with the DH Ladies. And let’s not forget, Eddie Pee-Pee Head.

But I must say that with all her truly hilarious posts none made me laugh more than her Top Ten Lists. These aren’t your everyday Top Ten “Mommy” Lists, either. Not with titles like:

“Top Ten Drinky Drinks”

or

“Top Ten Logical Responses to Unreasonable Complaints.”

 

So in the spirit of Top Ten lists I give you:

THE TOP TEN THINGS YOU WISH YOU KNEW ABOUT KAYJAI!

 

**** 1. What would you consider to be your best personality trait?

I have the ability to read minds…AND I love a good laugh.  That’s why I’m married…

 

**** 2. What do you think is your worst personality trait?

Total arrogance regarding what constitutes “good television.” I’m also directionally challenged and prone to wandering.  I have a GPS but refuse to use it as I think it’s an embarrassing apparatus designed to piss me off with the robotic woman voice incessantly saying “recalculating, recalculating'”every time I miss the turn off…which is every time…

 

**** 3. You wake up Saturday morning and everyone has left you alone for the day. What do you do?

First of all, I would hazily attempt to recall the events of the previous evening that would cause such an occurrence as the total abandonment by my family.  Then, I would wander aimlessly around the house searching for said family members.  Finally, I would admit defeat, eat all the chocolate, situate my ass on the couch nearest the television and prepare to be brain washed by mindless sitcoms for 8 hours. (I say 8 hours, since that would be the ultimate limit to my family’s ability to leave me alone).

 

**** 4. Your favorite thing about your spouse:

He’s hot.

 

**** 5. If you could choose a superpower, what would it be and why?

Well, since I am already adept at mind-reading, I would have to choose the old invisibility trick.  Just think…read minds WHILE remaining invisible…I could RULE the world..or at the very least, the Eastern portion of Canada…

 

**** 6. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

My neighbour’s basement.  It’s awesome down there..big screen TV, comfy couch, fridge, bathroom…man, I’d have it made! Wait..that’s my basement..hmm…I’ll get back to you on that one..

 

**** 7. Your favorite book/favorite meal/favorite sport:

There’s a lot of favorite books, but Stephen King’s Bag of Bones is it right now.  My favorite meal consists of anything I didn’t have to cut, peel, skin, bake, cook or serve.  I’d eat pig’s eyes if someone cooked them, fancied them up and served them to me.  My what?  Favorite Sport?  WTF?  I don’t do sports…I run..that’s it.  If Hubby’s lucky I’ll watch a period of hockey with him just to make him feel better..that’s it. 

 

**** 8. Your favorite movie/food/song that you secretly like but don’t want to admit:

Meatballs with Canada’s funniest man, Bill Murray.  That’s a movie…an old one…made me spit coke out my nose..wait, that didn’t sound right. I meant Coca-Cola…not the other kind. You’ve misunderstood.  Move on…

 

**** 9. What job do you wish you had?

A job where I could write all day, read everyone’s blog, surf the internet, socialize with people, help a scattered young person with their ADHD ( I could help you, you know), or learning difficulty and get paid….wait, I am doing that.  I’m fucking awesome!!  Never mind…I have the perfect job…If that job doesn’t pan out, I’ll become a Pirate.  I already have the eye-patch and doo-rag.

 

**** 10. Your favorite swear word:

Wow, lately I have a lot of those, but if I had to pick one, my all-time favorite is fuckwit.  Yeah…I ripped it off Bridget Jones’s Diary and it pretty much describes half the population.  Feel free to rip it off, too. 

 

In addition to blogging our friend Kayjai is a bit of a writer. Here’s what she had to say about her latest endeavor:

“I enjoy writing short stories and have a few posted under my fiction category.  I ran a couple of series, one was Spyglass set in St. John’s, Newfoundland.  The other was a co-writing project that a buddy and I wrote together. I would write a chapter, then he would write one and I would write the next one and so on. We would post our chapters on each of our blogs, thus if you wanted to read the whole series, you would have to visit his site to read the series in it’s entirety.  It was originally titled “The Red Balloon” and was a very interesting and challenging project.

Unfortunately, I write faster than he does and I would end up waiting to see where the story would go for days before I could write a responding chapter.  It takes patience, but the end result was very good. I am in the throes of writing a novel, sort of a mystery/suspense job and it’s going, just very slowly.  I continually, almost obsessively, write short stories and send them off to anyone who would read them…still waiting to get something published.”

 

FOLLOW KAYJAI’S BLOG

 

NEXT WEEK IS A SPECIAL HALLOWEEN SPaM FEATURING……GRAFIKLIT

IT’S SPaM – EDWARD HOTSPUR

IT’S SPaM THE SEQUEL – JUST JEB

ANOTHER HELPING OF SPaM – SHERBERT BOMB

SIDECAR SPaM – THE LIBRA CHRONICLES

If you’d like to be featured on SPaM (Shameless Promotion Mondays) contact me at: heellisgoa@gmail.com

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13 responses

  1. meganstephenson

    “Your favorite thing about your spouse: He’s hot.” That is brilliant and Yes, I say fuckwit all the time … it is a beautiful way to address my boyfriend … “OY!! Fuckwit,” aahahaha.

    October 24, 2011 at 6:39 am

    • Why does that not surprise me?

      October 24, 2011 at 9:28 am

      • meganstephenson

        Because I am cute enough to get away with it 😛

        October 24, 2011 at 9:29 am

  2. Pingback: SPaM Mondays at Ellis’s Place | Kayjai's Blog

  3. Great to see you give recognition to a remarkable writer and a former co-worker of mine. Kayjai is humorous, intelligent, and always unpredictable. (Just ask Annie) Great Post! (as always)

    October 24, 2011 at 8:25 am

    • I’m working on yours as we speak. I’m beginning to regret naming it SPaM. They all seem to get lost that way. 🙂

      October 24, 2011 at 9:27 am

  4. I pay Sights a nominal fee to say nice things about me to other bloggers around the ‘net. Nice to see he’s earning his fee…. well worth the $20.00…Canadian, of course.

    October 24, 2011 at 10:23 am

    • What a good friend. He’s worth his weight in Molson.

      October 24, 2011 at 10:25 am

  5. Fuckwit is the best.

    October 24, 2011 at 10:25 am

  6. He’s hot?????

    October 24, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    • Now, now Neicey….let’s play nice…

      October 25, 2011 at 7:05 am

  7. I have not employed the term fuckwit yet. Need to try that one. Thanks for turning me on to another great blogger and a superb cuss word!

    October 24, 2011 at 10:49 pm

  8. ben

    top ten? I was hoping for a top 100. You are just that cool

    May 25, 2012 at 7:05 am