The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Things You Can’t Unsee

Hey…did anyone remember today is Monday? Because I COMPLETELY forgot. I blame the time change. And Canada. So instead of a helping of SPaM, I’ve decided to include something a little LESS palatable. Because if I have to know about this, then so do you. Thanks, Urethra.

65 responses

  1. My hate will go on….

    November 7, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    • I’m right with ya’, buddy.

      November 7, 2011 at 7:56 pm

      • We need to do something about this chick. Figure out some way to make her pay for what she’s done. We need answers to this problem. That’s right…

        We need a Celine solution.

        November 8, 2011 at 7:33 am

  2. Say, did you notice that Sound of Nothing was no more? Wonder what happened.

    November 7, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    • Huh? No idea…..

      November 7, 2011 at 7:55 pm

  3. Lisa M

    After seeing the name Celine Dion I couldn’t make myself click the play arrow…

    November 7, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    • I love you.

      November 7, 2011 at 7:55 pm

  4. Excellent title. I love the idea of it–a great blog line and I had to click–didn’t know what to expect. What I saw will forever damage my psyche. If I see that white-pants-bony pelvis hump the air one more time, I’m gong to go into a flashback of my youth when I was kidnapped by the Doodle Town Pipers.
    But thank you.

    November 7, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    • You know I HAD to Google “Doodle Town Pipers.” Uh…yeah.

      November 7, 2011 at 8:02 pm

  5. Dear Canada,

    This is your fucking fault.



    November 7, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    • I salute you, sir.

      November 7, 2011 at 8:13 pm

  6. uhh…Celine Dion…just can’t bring myself to watch her…or listen to her…I didn’t want to see something that I couldn’t unsee tonight so i didn’t click play…

    November 7, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    • You are very wise…..

      November 7, 2011 at 8:12 pm

  7. savorthefolly

    I try to avoid being traumatized if I can. *shudders*

    November 7, 2011 at 8:34 pm

    • I believe there is a support group in place somewhere.

      November 7, 2011 at 8:49 pm

      • savorthefolly

        yes, I believe it’s called “wordpress”

        that’s where I go to chill with my support group. πŸ™‚

        November 7, 2011 at 8:53 pm

        • Welcome, sista’!

          November 7, 2011 at 9:05 pm

  8. There are parts of the world where you can be shot for inflicting that on an unsuspecting public, Celine.
    Or re-inflicting it, Miss Ellis.

    November 7, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    • Yikes. I think I need an alias.

      November 7, 2011 at 9:06 pm

  9. talker96

    Since no one will defend Celine Dion(or C-dog, as she is known to friends and family) I guess I’ll do it. She is a singer. She is from the Nation of Canada. She speaks French, not English (this is due to a childhood injury). Despite her obvious French handicap, she has gone on to woo millions of people with her voice and her long tentacle-like arms.
    The film, Titanic, made over a billion dollars, largely due to Celine Dion and her riveting portrayal of the Unsinkable Molly Brown.

    November 7, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    • I thought she played the Captain. i saw the movie just to watch her go down with the ship…

      November 7, 2011 at 10:30 pm

      • Now that’s a movie I would have watched. Titanic just doesn’t do it for me. Bullitt however…..

        November 8, 2011 at 6:15 am

    • I preferred her as the Krackon in that Pirate of the Caribbean movie. At least she didn’t sing.

      November 8, 2011 at 6:27 am

  10. H.E., I resisted the urge to click ‘play,’ and I think I will be better for it in the long run. My question is: what could possibly make a dedicated blogger of your stature miss her Monday SPaM?

    November 7, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    • The calendar was over my head.

      November 8, 2011 at 6:14 am

  11. Maybe if she’d been wearing Angus Young shorts and playing air guitar it would have worked better. I don’t even like Ack-Duck all that much, but they deserve better covers than this. It’s almost like, if Justin Bieber tried to do “Sympathy for the Devil”.

    November 7, 2011 at 10:23 pm

    • Oh God I just imagined that. The horror…..

      November 8, 2011 at 6:14 am

  12. Pingback: No “Ask Dayton” this week? So what do you do now? | The Fog of Ward.

  13. savorthefolly

    *dancing* let’s get this party started…let’s get this party started….

    November 7, 2011 at 10:45 pm

    • You bring the scotch and I’ll get Sparklebumps! Megan, you in? But sorry Celine, you can’t come.

      November 8, 2011 at 6:17 am

  14. kat

    AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH! I clicked on the arrow! Why? Why did I do that? I saw it was Celine Dion, why did I do that?

    On a positive note, in the beginning, when she does that one-legged hop-slide thing across the stage . . . that’s pretty impressive to do in heels.

    November 7, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    • WHY DID YOU DO THAT ?!?!

      November 8, 2011 at 6:17 am

  15. This was one of those rare times you needed a filter, Missy.

    November 7, 2011 at 11:33 pm

    • *hangs head in shame*

      November 8, 2011 at 6:17 am

  16. Speechless……that’s what I am, speech-what in the hell and why in the hell-less.

    November 8, 2011 at 12:27 am

    • Please pass some of your speechlessness onto Ms. Dion.

      November 8, 2011 at 6:18 am

  17. (0.o)

    November 8, 2011 at 1:25 am

    • *^&%$##@#$^
      I’m old, kid. I have no idea what you said up there. But I’ll take it as a compliment.

      November 8, 2011 at 6:19 am

      • According to the ever popular Urban Dictionary:

        O.o ; o.O : Confusion, usually used together.

        Ironic that’s what it means, isn’t it?

        November 8, 2011 at 1:39 pm

        • Quite ironic indeed! Wow…I’m really old.

          November 8, 2011 at 7:58 pm

      • Ahahahah!! XD shit , I have cousins your age I’m perfectly comfortable with :p , so no , I don’t consider you old. That’s an emote for the look My head –> (0.o)

        November 11, 2011 at 10:31 pm

  18. Actually when I emailed you it was nearly Tuesday here so technically this is my fault … I should have realise that my five hours in front = I knew it was Monday earlier then you! anyway πŸ˜‰

    November 8, 2011 at 4:06 am

    • Thanks for letting me know anyway. Now I feel like a putz. Not sure what this word means, but my grandfather used to say it whenever someone made a stupid mistake.

      November 8, 2011 at 6:20 am

      • Ahaha putz, you are not a putz H.E. πŸ˜‰

        November 8, 2011 at 12:42 pm

  19. Canada is..well, sorry about that. We will be apologizing for the ‘Celine Incident’ for centuries to come. However, the video would not play on my computer since it has been ‘blocked’ by my country. We know better than to subject our citizens to any more of her stuff. Yeah, we could see that one coming and shipped her out when we got the chance…. Again, our sincerest apologies. On the upside, we did bring you that little hottie named Ryan Reynolds…we hope that makes up for everything.

    November 8, 2011 at 7:59 am

    • I’ll take Ryan Reynolds, but how aboot you sweeten the deal with some Molson, eh?

      November 8, 2011 at 7:59 pm

      • *sigh* I guess I can throw in a 12 case…just don’t throw around that ‘aboot’ anymore. It’s kinda creepy sounding.

        November 9, 2011 at 8:25 am

  20. Canada??? What did Canada do?????

    November 8, 2011 at 9:23 am

    • Clearly you did not press “play.”

      November 8, 2011 at 8:00 pm

  21. No, I’m NOT going to watch it! You can’t make me! I prefer to NOT have my eyes assaulted, thank you.

    November 8, 2011 at 10:14 am

    • And the ears! Don’t forget the ears!

      November 8, 2011 at 8:00 pm

  22. Not the Broth

    Uhm, you’re a douchebag. I have been instantly transported back to high school and the moment of walking in on my dad in a pair of tighty whiteys doing leg lifts on the bedroom floor while singing ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’.

    You knew the man.

    You do something like this to me? I return the favor in kind, old friend. Enjoy THAT particular bit of chewy goodness…

    November 8, 2011 at 11:20 am

    • Must. Burn. Eyes…..

      November 8, 2011 at 8:01 pm

  23. You want to know something funny? When I tried to press ‘play’, I was not allowed to view the video because I was in Canada….if you were referring to Celine Dion, I can see how that might have ruined your day…Man, is she ugly!

    November 8, 2011 at 8:17 pm

  24. Ok, now that I am no longer speechless and have collected my composure, I have a very stern warning for you, little lady- TODAY it’s Celine Dion, TOMORROW it’s Jodi Picoult. You simply cannot keep putting these Brain Cancers into your minds eye, Ok?

    November 9, 2011 at 1:26 pm

  25. Celine Dion once represented Switzerland in the Eurovision song contest. She won!

    If you haven’t heard of the Eurovision Song Contest – count your lucky stars – it was a post WW2 “stop us bombing eachother through trite lyrics” effort in which it was beleived national enmities could be dampened via three minute bursts of pap. It limps on today.

    In many respects it was the forerunner for the fabled Eurozone, only with glitter and the odd trombone solo. Come to think of it perhaps mass trombone playing amongst baffled Europeans might see us out of this little local difficulty.

    To misquote Dr Hook “Silvio’s Mother said….”

    Thanks for the memories!

    November 10, 2011 at 7:42 am

  26. I am proud of myself. I clicked on the button and got through a little more than a minute before I through up in my mouth a little. PLEASE, somebody tell me how this woman fills auditoriums… and Canada- You are a peaceful, intelligent and polite country. Is this payback? Are you like the quiet neighbor who can’t take it anymore and Celine is your version of an AK-47 strafing our global neighborhood. Please Canada, get some help.

    November 10, 2011 at 8:12 am

  27. You guys finally figured us Crazy Canucks out. Not only does Canada boast the most secretive and successful spy agency in the world, but we have managed to infiltrate some of the world leaders with our secret weapon, the Celine Bomb.

    November 10, 2011 at 1:53 pm

  28. I can ‘t unhear it either. Aaaarrrrggggghhhh!

    November 28, 2011 at 12:49 pm

  29. I watched much to my horror, I watched! Now I’m sitting in the dark now holding myself rocking uncontrollably! My eyes and my ears hurt. ;(

    December 4, 2011 at 9:50 am

    • I feel your pain. We’ve formed a support group if you’re interested.

      December 4, 2011 at 9:51 am

  30. What blows my mind about this is that Celine Dion is singing AC/DC… and I am pretty sure it is at the Country Music Awards… SAY WHAT???

    If I start singing this with a twang while doing the dishes tonight.. I’m coming after you!

    December 5, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    • And I’ll deserve it because this is wrong on sooo many levels…

      December 5, 2011 at 7:45 pm