The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

SciFi Faux Pas

Oh man, I’ve gone and done it. I made the mistake of commenting on a SciFi blog. Finally watching the Star Wars Trilogy deluded me into thinking that I had a sufficient handle on the SciFi world enough to comment on it.

Boy, was I WRONG.

It all started innocently enough the day I stumbled onto a blog post about SciFi Fandom. Still high from my Star Wars euphoria I mistakenly mentioned in a comment how I am a fan of SciFi now and how I enjoyed Star Wars, specifically Chewbacca. Unfortunately for me the post was about Star Trek. Apparently these franchises occupy two completely different sets of fandom. Silly me thought that they both fell under the same SciFi umbrella.


Luckily for me the host of this blog is a real class act, and graciously agreed with my assertion of Chewbacca’s uber awesomeness despite my ignorant Star Trek faux pas. I wasn’t so lucky in the comments, however. An individual who refers to himself as “Anonymous” let me know in no uncertain terms that Star Trek and Star Wars are two separate franchises despite the fact that they are both set in space. He then went on to call me “Lumpy McPlumperson” or something to that effect. I’m paraphrasing you see; because I am terrified that if I don’t make this right I may just disrupt the space/time continuum or tear open wormholes or create some cataclysmic event to bring about the end the universe as we know it. So in the interest of intergalactic peace I’d like to take this opportunity to make amends.

Dear Anonymous,

I’d like to apologize for my ignorance in regards to your beloved choice of fandom. While I may be a novice in the world of science fiction I certainly understand the concept of loyalty to one’s affiliations. I imagine I’d feel similarly offended if someone insisted New York was part of New England or that substituting Spanish words for Italian ones is an acceptable practice because they’re “close enough.” So if you’d be so kind, I’d like to offer you an olive branch:



95 responses

  1. F*cking hilarious. People actually think the ‘sphere is important. Kills me!

    January 3, 2012 at 1:36 am

    • I’m so afraid to answer.

      January 3, 2012 at 5:01 am

  2. Oh dear, you did step in it didn’t you? LOL I’m a long time Trekkie (since it’s inception in 1969) but never fear … I’m no where near as obnoxious as Anonymous sounds. 🙄

    January 3, 2012 at 3:21 am

    • He’s got nothing on me come the season opener at Fenway. I try not to judge.

      January 3, 2012 at 5:25 am

  3. Untill know I though I didn’t have a life, but compared to this unnamed dude, I am pretty fly! Ahaha

    January 3, 2012 at 3:39 am

    • Yes you are!

      January 3, 2012 at 5:28 am

      • Hey wait Ms.Megan, you can fly before you can drive in Wales?

        January 3, 2012 at 6:10 am

        • OMG did you just say I was from Wales? First I am a Wench and now I am from Wales … you just like insulting me don’t you! ahaha!

          January 3, 2012 at 9:51 am

          • heehehe. Noooo, im just playin

            January 3, 2012 at 11:02 am

            • Rydych yn dwp

              January 4, 2012 at 8:08 am

              • And a bleep blap bloop to you too, kiddo.

                January 4, 2012 at 9:04 am

                • Eep op oop ork?

                  January 4, 2012 at 9:09 am

                  • Oh dear, what have a started, at least mine was an actual language 😛

                    January 4, 2012 at 11:25 am

                    • Keeping with the sci-fi theme:
                      THE JETSONS!!!

                      January 4, 2012 at 11:31 am

  4. Its an easy mistake to make H.E.

    January 3, 2012 at 5:29 am

    • Remember that the next time I accidentally delete all your Stargates off the DVR.

      January 3, 2012 at 5:55 am

      • Them’s fightin words missy.

        January 3, 2012 at 6:18 am

  5. I will make it easy for you to remember.
    StarTrek = William Shatner (blech)
    Star Wars= Harrison Ford, Princess Leia in the gold bikini, Chewbacca, and Darth. (Yay!)

    January 3, 2012 at 6:50 am

    • CHEWBACCA!!!!

      January 3, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    • The Jabba the hutt scene with Leia chained up and in the gold bikini was the ONLY time I thought she was hot ever.

      Otherwise the entire starwars saga was completely sans any hot sci-fi nerd chick to fantasize about.

      January 3, 2012 at 5:56 pm

      • I’ll give that to Star Trek, they always did have hot women. Even if they were green.

        January 3, 2012 at 6:10 pm

  6. I am cracking up over here.. I have known some “Trekkies” in my time and yeah… one small slip of Star Wars around them turns them into rabid wolverines hopped up on Pez. And the Star Wars people .. forget it. I think there is an actual Star Wars convention every year (Star Trek one, too).

    I’m glad someone didn’t put you in the Darth Vader Mind Grip and you lived to tell this story…

    January 3, 2012 at 7:09 am

    • So am I. Uh…what is a Darth Vader Mind Grip? I’m afraid to ask a fan.

      January 3, 2012 at 12:43 pm

  7. You should watch ‘The Big bang theory’ if you already don’t :p .

    January 3, 2012 at 7:33 am

    • I’ve never seen it, but I’ve heard I should. Sounds like a good show.

      January 3, 2012 at 12:44 pm

  8. You’d think sci-fi geeks with their advanced sense of everything wouldn’t be so touchy.

    January 3, 2012 at 7:49 am

    • I know! You’d think they’d be all logical like Spock (please dear Lord say that dude’s from Star Trek).

      January 3, 2012 at 12:44 pm

  9. Make sure you’re anti virus is up to date on your pc. Other than that, I wouldn’t worry about it. Most of these guys rarely venture out of their Mom’s basements.

    Though if you want to fit in, just post a picture of yourself wearing an “I Grok Spock” t-shirt.
    But don’t wear the pointy ears please.
    Unless you’re into that kind of thing…
    (yes, I had a pair when I was 7)

    January 3, 2012 at 8:11 am

    • Ok, I don’t even know what you just said, but somehow I feel safe in saying that I need to own that t-shirt. NOW.

      January 3, 2012 at 12:47 pm

  10. William Shatner and Carrie Fisher have been creating You Tube videos lately stoking this rivalry. As though its most ardent spokesnerds needed stoking.

    Silly. Especially since Star Wars is SO obviously superior.

    January 3, 2012 at 9:43 am

    • Well said, The Byronic Man. Spoken like a true “Rigellian Come Lately” jumping on the Star Wars bandwagon after Star Trek laid the groundwork.


      **For those of you who aren’t sci-fi geeks, the above comments from me and The Byronic Man are representative of the beginning of a thread in a sci-fi forum that will run for at least two weeks, with arguments ranging from realism to visuals to the kind of gum Roddenberry and Lucas chewed, and end with invocations of Hitler, Genghis Khan and Plato.
      (all topics touched on in Star Trek episodes.)(But not Star Wars.)(I think we know who’s superior now.)

      Get your popcorn!

      January 3, 2012 at 9:55 am

    • I decline to agree on the grounds that I may be anonymously flogged to death.

      January 3, 2012 at 12:47 pm

  11. Speaking as someone who’s immersed in this particular world far more than some folks would consider healthy, some SF/Fantasy fans are fucked in the head.

    Trekkies, Warsies, Twilighters, whatever, there is a small segment within each of these fandoms that could benefit from a reality-driven 2×4 across the face. While they can be vocal, they are–thankfully–a minority. One of my hobbies is riling such people. 😉

    January 3, 2012 at 9:49 am

    • Which is why I will continue to visit your blog religiously. That is until you reveal yourself to be a Yankees fan. THEN IT’S ON!!!!

      January 3, 2012 at 12:50 pm

  12. Ha ha! That sounds like something I’d do on purpose just to take the piss out of them. In fact, it’s something I HAVE done on purpose. I’ve also done the same thing with the Potter/Twilight thing. The best trolls along this line are ones that have a picture… Hang on… yeah, like this:

    January 3, 2012 at 9:50 am

  13. Seeing that picture, I’m reminded of one time where I stood in open-mouthed shock as some bonehead announced to his friends that he was pissed that Gandalf was such an obvious rip-off of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

    (Of course, I might say something like that just to irk Tolkien fans :D)

    January 3, 2012 at 10:03 am

    • You can irk Tolkien AND Lucas fans if you say both Gandalf and Obi-Wan are obvious ripoffs of Dumbledore.

      January 3, 2012 at 12:51 pm

      • Hah! Noted for future reference!

        January 3, 2012 at 12:59 pm

      • DEATH BY NERD!!!!

        Crap. I did it again. I’m sorry, nerds of the world. I mean no disrespect.

        January 3, 2012 at 1:02 pm

        • Nerds listen up H.E. lives at …..
          We stand together

          January 3, 2012 at 1:06 pm

          • You’re one to talk! Mr. “Deep Space Nine isn’t really Star Trek” dude.

            January 3, 2012 at 1:08 pm

        • I’m a geek, not a nerd. Nerds can do math.

          January 3, 2012 at 1:07 pm

          • Ahhh…I see. Which ones get laid?

            January 3, 2012 at 1:07 pm

            • Geeks.

              Well, at least this geek does.

              I am the 1%.

              January 3, 2012 at 1:11 pm

            • I Can do math. 1+0= 7 of 9.

              January 3, 2012 at 1:13 pm

  14. Never fear, my dear, just send anonymous individual a month’s supply of dilithium crystals and he should be okay. By the way, anyone who signs their name anonymous shouldn’t criticize anyone anyway (he should have had the balls to sign his own name to his comment if you ask me). That being said, I am a die hard trekkie, and I don’t think Star Wars is even in the same category as Star Trek, but that’s just me.

    January 3, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    • I know, right? I mean, all that Jedi magic and force and stuff. Star Trek has no magic in it! It’s all science, like Q, and mind melds, and the Traveler, and … oh.

      January 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

      • Totally lost here. By the way, what genre is the Matrix? I just watched that and I have no clue where it belongs.

        January 3, 2012 at 1:05 pm

        • Matrix is the rare cross-over for Geek and Nerd.
          The 2 sequels are firmly in the “Crap” genre .

          January 3, 2012 at 1:17 pm

        • LOL! No one does. Not even the creators. That’s why the second and third movies sucked so much. You’d be extremely safe criticizing the Matrix.

          January 3, 2012 at 1:17 pm

          • So far I liked the first one. Haven’t seen the sequels yet. Maybe I’ll skip them.

            January 3, 2012 at 1:18 pm

            • No! Watch them. They’re… great!

              January 3, 2012 at 1:24 pm

  15. The Matrix could have been a Holodeck simulation from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Actually, this post could also be a simulation! What could not be a simulation is the thought that Star Wars is superior to anything except the Space Balls movie.

    January 3, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    • SPACEBALLS!!!! Now that I’ve seen!

      January 3, 2012 at 4:13 pm

      • Please tell me we haven’t moved on to mocking Spaceballs. Best. Sci-Fi Flick. Ever.

        January 3, 2012 at 4:29 pm


    (wait did I spell that right?)

    It is Obvious t any true fan that James Tiberius Kirk would fight against Chewbokka using his phasers (which never work on anything but humans by the way) and then they would play that funny music while a hand to hand battle ensued. And since Kirk is used to fighting beings ten times his strength Chewbokka would be easily defeated like in the episode where Kirk defeats the lizard being on the planet Glibnets 5.

    Don’t you know anything!?

    January 3, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    • I am oddly turned on by this…

      January 3, 2012 at 5:29 pm

      • James T was the intergalactic Lady Killer. Everyone knows that!

        (sorry I’m trying my best so sound like a startrek nerd)

        He’s where I learned my patented kiss technique. Totally floors the women, literally.

        January 3, 2012 at 6:03 pm

        • Holy Crap! Did he sneeze on her first??

          January 3, 2012 at 6:11 pm

  17. talker96

    Star Trek takes place in our area of space, Star Wars takes place in a Galaxy Far, Far away.
    What’s really strange is that you made a Star Wars reference on a post about Star Trek and then came here and posted that you didn’t want to “disrupt the space/time continuum or tear open wormholes or create some cataclysmic event”, all of which are Star Trek type problems.
    Clearly there is more to this story than you have let on….

    January 3, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    • Yes there is. I was waiting to tell you all in December but…….the Mayans have predicted that the world will end when a Star Trek and a Star Wars convention is mistakenly scheduled for the same day at the same place.

      Mayhem ensues….mass destruction….chaos…pretty much the end of life as we know it.

      January 3, 2012 at 5:33 pm

  18. Love the comments! LOL
    I kinda liked Star Trek TNG over the original. Capt. Picard was pretty awesome.

    January 3, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    • That’s because bald dudes are hot. Right Sparkles? 😉

      January 3, 2012 at 5:35 pm

  19. talker96

    I forgot to point out that there is no link to this Star Trekkie populated site, something I would have liked to have seen for myself. What does this prove ladies and gentlemen(or Romulans and Gungans, to reference both franchises)?
    I shall tell you.
    It proves that there is in fact more to this story than H.E. is letting on…..or that she was on some kind of Trek porn site, decided to throw out a Wookie reference and quickly got shot down by an astute Bird of Prey.
    On another note, I think you should talk about different films at least once a week because judging by the amount of time it took me to scroll down to the spot to leave a comment on(took for-e-ver), an H.E. film forum would be one of your more successful postings.

    January 3, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    • *sniffles* Yes Talker, you are right. I’ve lived with this shame for far too long. But maybe, just maybe, if I come forward others like me can find the strength it takes to conquer our demons and live clean, healthy lives. I am into…Borg porn. There. I’ve said it. But in my defense, their orgies are out of this world! And not knowing whether or not what I’m doing is a gang bang or group masturbation is mind blowing! AND THE ATTACHMENTS! OH GOD! THE ATTACHMENTS!!!

      January 3, 2012 at 6:06 pm

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  21. I thought you didn’t want to be attached. ba dum bum. Laugh. Resistance is futile.

    January 3, 2012 at 7:32 pm

  22. did you know that the woman at the end of Kirk’s kiss was actually a porn star at the time? Luke Skywalker could only dream…

    January 3, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    • Wow….I’m beyond impressed that you know this.

      January 3, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    • But this would have been in the late 1960s. Still in the Hairy Era.

      January 3, 2012 at 8:37 pm

      • She wasn’t a porn star until the ’80s.

        January 3, 2012 at 8:46 pm

    • Lol I’m impressed too. I totally had no idea. Kirk was a pimp

      January 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

  23. See what I mess being stuck back at work? You guys are cracking me up! 😆

    January 4, 2012 at 4:39 am

    • D’oh! That was supposed to be “miss”, not “mess”. Geeze … guess I shouldn’t be posting at 1am. 🙄

      January 5, 2012 at 4:38 am

  24. LOL! Aww, you poor dear! Now, if you really want a true glimpse of Sci-fi fandom at their rabid worst at a convention, watch “Galaxy Quest!” Awesome, fun, funny movie, a spoof that is as good as the shows it’s spoofing! I went to a few cons & the writers of “Galaxy” nailed it! Live Long and May the Force Prosper! heh… 😀

    January 4, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    • I think I need to see that movie.

      January 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

      • Plus, it has Snape and Ripley in it.

        January 4, 2012 at 6:34 pm

      • You so need to see it … hysterical! 😀

        January 5, 2012 at 4:41 am

  25. I am going to have to brush up on my Sci Fi as I am completely lost.

    January 5, 2012 at 5:08 pm

  26. Hilarious! I’ve always refused to watch Star Wars and routinely call it Star Trek if it comes up in conversation. I’ve been given some harsh looks, but I doubt the anger behind those stares ever came close to the comments you got. It’s amazing what people will say behind a veil of anonymity.

    January 5, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    • I’m still not sure why the genre is so polarized. I’m missing something.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:38 pm

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  28. I wouldn’t worry about that guy, he sounds like the sort of fan that likes to assert their superiority through their knowledge, sometimes there is just no reasoning with them!

    January 6, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    • I agree. But I do have to give him points for his “Lumpy McPlumperson” remark. I’m not sure what that has to do with Star Wars (I looked it up) but it’s funny to say, none the less.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm

  29. I still think that Chewcacca is outclassed by Animal, this on the sci-fi not, of course!

    January 14, 2012 at 10:22 am

    • should read sci-fi note…

      January 14, 2012 at 10:23 am

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