The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

You’re Going On A Scavenger Hunt With HE and EH!

This little ambitious project is brought to you by the people who brought you other things to read and do:

H.E. “Isn’t that chick a dude?” Ellis and Edward “Mind Fuck Hero” Hotspur! In this endeavor, there are some rules. They are as follows:

1) Read questions from this post and its corresponding post on Edward Hotspur’s blog.

2) Go nuts like a drunk monkey looking for the answers to the questions. There are 10 questions about Hellis, 10 about Hotspur, and 30 about 30 other people. Each one is about a little fact that might be easy to find, and might be difficult. They could be from a recent post, an ancient post, or you might just know it because your brain is like a walking Wikipedia.

3) You can make any comments you like on either blog, but you should probably e-mail us the answers. Unless you don’t care if you tip everyone off, in which case let’s play poker!

4) The first 5 people who get all the questions right will win:

**Free copies of Hotspur’s and Hellis‘ latest books!

**Blog posts about them, like an award or a SPaM or something very public, on one of our blogs! 

**A Million Dollars! (Note – winner won’t actually receive a million dollars.)

Now, on with the questions! Search the blogs well! Dig deep and don’t leave any stone unturned! The answers are NOT “within” in this case, people.

First, here are the ones about the Other People:

Dragonfae – What two foods doesn’t Dragonfae like to eat?

Bestbathroombooks – Les’s book is published under what publishing company?

Verynormal – What’s Megan’s boyfriend’s name?

Calhoun – What is the #253 reason why Calhoun is still single?

Sightsnbytes’s Blog – What Canadian island is the base of operations for Sightsnbytes’s Blog?

The Fog of Ward – When Dayton isn’t writing, what does he do for a living?

Grafiklit – What is the name of Kat’s photography blog?

The Libra Chronicles – What is one definition of a sidecar?

HR Nightmare – What does HR like to drink for Christmas?

Is it Possible To See It All – Where is the first European City you should visit on Joe’s bucket list?

Rantonit – What is desitip #28?

Talker96 – How many times has Talker won the Sexiest Man Alive award?

Whorrible – What D.H. Lawrence novel inspired Jonathan’s works?

OhmygawdjustdowhatIsay – What piece of Star Wars memorabilia is hanging from Ginger’s Christmas tree?

The Wandering Atavist – The Atavist moved from Northern Maine to where?



What is the title of his first book?

What is Granite Countertop’s favorite candy bar?

What kind of salad does he like?

In what city is the Garden Station?

What is a HCG?

On the Starship Innerthighs, what creature is Spork?

What is Starship Innerthighs continuing mission?

What is his first crack song?

In the choose your own blog adventure, what kind of orchard can you pick to visit?

What writer penned his ASSBOOK blog post?


Check EDWARD HOTSPUR’S blog for the other 25 questions. And most of all, Have Fun! Get to know one another.

This game will end on 31 January 2012, and the winners will be posted 05 February 2012. This is subject to change, of course, because I don’t have a script. Normal rules apply, and [insert legalese].

Edward Hotspur and H.E. Ellis


51 responses

  1. I already told Hotspur that this was a fucking awesome idea! Nice job…

    January 14, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    • This was totally his brain-child. I love being a part of it!

      January 14, 2012 at 5:27 pm

  2. H R Nightmare

    GREAT. I’m disqualified from this competition, or at least half of it.

    January 14, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    • Okay, then I’ll give you a set of your own questions:
      1) What is your special nickname for my buns?
      2) What’s your pet name for me?
      3) How many times have we spooned?
      4) What color are my eyes?
      5) What is the next number in this series? 1, 2, 69, …
      6) Are you kidding me?
      7) What did you have for breakfast this morning?
      8) What was the name of the last woman you were with (no fair asking her friends)
      9) Using musicians only, connect David Bowie to Zakk Wylde.
      10) What is the end of this joke:
      A naked woman walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a 5lb sausage under the other. The bartender says ‘I guess you won’t be needing a drink’. The woman says…

      January 14, 2012 at 6:11 pm

      • Ho-ly Shit. I have NEVER seen anyone hand HR his ass quite this way. I am in AWE….

        January 14, 2012 at 6:17 pm

        • H R Nightmare

          Ok here we go then:
          1) Spoken like a man who’s never spent a night in prison.
          2) “Bitch” when I want a beer. Hurry up, the Pats are on.
          3) If by “spooned” you mean smacking you upside the head for forgetting my beer, then sit still ’cause here comes #1.
          4) Judging by the size of my spoon at least one of them is black and blue. As for number 2; did you forget my cigarettes too?
          5) Who the hell knows? I got laid in high school.
          6) No really, I did. In fact, it was the math teacher.
          7) Bitch you didn’t make me breakfast so hold the fuck still. Here comes number 2.
          8) “Angelface”
          9) Elvis, because let’s face it; everybody likes Elvis.
          10) “Drink, don’t drink, Honey Badger don’t care. Wanna see a donkey show?”

          Any other brain busters there, Mr. Hotspur?

          January 14, 2012 at 7:01 pm

          • Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of you thumping your own chest. By the way, #5 was a sex question, not a math question – you obviously failed both. Boom! Roasted.

            January 14, 2012 at 7:19 pm

            • H R Nightmare

              Mr. Hotspur, I can understand at your age it is easy to confuse sounds like the thumping on a chest verses the sound of a headboard, so for this you are forgiven.

              Any further sex questions I would be happy to answer, but it’s best if you email me and save yourself the embarrassment.

              January 14, 2012 at 7:37 pm

              • What embarrassment? Also, that’s a keyboard, not a headboard.

                January 14, 2012 at 8:02 pm

                • H R Nightmare

                  YOU’RE SO RIGHT. IIIIIIIIIIIIIssssssssss tttttttthhhhhhaaaatttt wwwhhyyyy mmmmmyyyy kkkkeeeeeeyyysss aaaaaarrrreeee ssssstttiiiccckkkiiinngg?


                  January 14, 2012 at 9:00 pm

                  • Yes it is. You should have gotten a laptop with a hole in it.

                    January 14, 2012 at 10:06 pm

                    • H R Nightmare

                      Thats what got me in trouble in the first place.

                      January 15, 2012 at 11:28 am

  3. I think I’m going to need extra Ritalin for this…..
    And, I almost couldn’t answer the question about my own damn Christmas tree-that’s how braindead I am.
    Game On!

    January 14, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    • Don’t feel bad. I had to look up three of my own. 😉

      January 14, 2012 at 6:19 pm

      • Yeah, about that… me too.

        January 14, 2012 at 6:46 pm

        • So what the 2 of you are saying is that NO ONE will be able to actually win? Does ANYONE know the answers to their own questions?
          And Edward, my husband says the only thing that comes after 69 is a nap- that was an un-fair question for HR.

          January 14, 2012 at 6:56 pm

          • I’m so sorry, Ginger. A nap? Really? I’m speechless. In my experience, there should be a whole bunch of things that come after a 69. Or at least two, depending on how you look at it. And if you’re looking at it, it’s probably because your husband is asleep, and again, I’m so sorry.

            January 14, 2012 at 7:12 pm

            • If there is more to come after 69, then perhaps you aren’t doin it right.

              January 14, 2012 at 7:27 pm

              • Really? A 69, and then… just stop there? Wow. Different strokes, I guess.

                January 14, 2012 at 7:45 pm

                • I’m 4’11.5″ so a 69 for me only amounts to about 54 and a half.

                  January 14, 2012 at 8:05 pm

                  • Thanks for answering the ‘how tall is HE’ question.

                    January 14, 2012 at 9:23 pm

          • Oops, too focused on the sex portion of your comment – I know half the answers and Hellis knows the other half, so between the two of us, we know it all. Don’t worry.

            January 14, 2012 at 7:13 pm

  4. This feels suspiciously like work.

    January 14, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    • It’s funner than you’d think. Is “funner” a word?

      January 14, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    • That’s what she said.

      January 14, 2012 at 9:09 pm

  5. I may change the definition just to make things more difficult

    January 14, 2012 at 9:55 pm


      January 14, 2012 at 9:58 pm

      • That’s what she said!

        January 15, 2012 at 10:58 am

      • Alright alright, but they don’t get partial credit for guessing I hope… 😉

        January 15, 2012 at 4:34 pm

  6. Holy #$&$^% . This is a triQ . You do know I’m still in bed at 11 30 am with my laptop on my stomach? so much searching to do :O .

    January 15, 2012 at 12:57 am

  7. Guess I’d better put off amending my bucket list post. Great plan.

    January 15, 2012 at 10:39 am

    • Good idea. You could always add my bucket list city which is Amsterdam. Hehehehe…

      January 15, 2012 at 10:41 am

  8. Happy Birthday, HE! I hope this is your best year yet!

    January 15, 2012 at 11:16 am

    • Now that I’ve gotten a birthday wish from you it will be! Well, that and a trip down to Key West where we pick up tan, tattooed Latin boys…

      January 15, 2012 at 11:29 am

  9. I know all but one, what the Hell is Megan’s boyfriends name? …

    January 15, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    • YES!!! YOU’RE A PISSA!!!

      January 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

      • Seriously 😉

        January 15, 2012 at 2:54 pm

        • H R Nightmare

          Congrat’s Megan you have now graduated to full PISSA status,

          From this moment on you shall be known as M.P.M. ( Master Pissa Megan). You must now take on a student. I would recommend your boyfriend but apparently you can’t remember who he is, ssooo when you do, Teach him well.

          January 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm

          • Oh gosh, He does not need another excuse to be cocky to me 😉

            January 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm

  10. Great. Just when I was going to set aside time to finish reading your book.

    January 15, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    • Haha! We are diabolical!

      January 15, 2012 at 3:28 pm

  11. Looks like fun you guys … wish I had time to join in. 😦

    January 16, 2012 at 4:56 am

  12. I’m sorry, I’m much too lazy. And a little bit saddened that there is no question about your future wife, H.E. After all, it IS all about me…

    January 16, 2012 at 10:06 am

    • I wanted you but Hotspur beat me to you. Wow. That sounded naughty…

      January 16, 2012 at 10:12 am

      • You know it’s quite acceptable to have more than one question about me, right? After all, as I’ve stated, it IS all about me. 😉

        January 16, 2012 at 10:28 am

        • I think you’re right. The world can never have too much Sparklebumps!! You are like very sparkly crack.

          January 16, 2012 at 10:52 am

          • That is SO going in my biography blurb for my short story!

            January 16, 2012 at 11:31 am

      • What can I say? I just wanted her more.

        January 16, 2012 at 11:48 am

        • Oh geez. There is enough of me to go around, Peoples.

          January 16, 2012 at 12:12 pm