Love Letters Gone Wrong – Eight
It’s time time for another round of LOVE LETTERS GONE WRONG! Every Friday I feature a LOVE LETTER GONE WRONG written and submitted by an anonymous blogger. Sunday morning I reveal the secret admirer’s identity with a link to the blogger’s home page. If you’d like to submit some truly heinous love letters please send them to email@example.com.
This week’s love letter was written by a blogger who “Liked” my Top Ten Reasons” post. Check out this post and then return to the comments here to guess who the secret admirer is. The first correct guess wins a free copy of my ebook.
Dear the so called H.E.Ellis,
What the hell is your name really? I like the name that you have chosen, did you know it means ‘Noble one’ do you see yourself as that person? Or more like someone with a name that means ‘Sorrows’. I guess if I was ever to name someone with a talent like yours, you’re a decent writer; I might call her Gemma or Opal.
I am not going to bore you with all the shit about how I wanna re-decorate your lady cave or increase your stamina, which I could do by the way, I am instead going to say that one day I will stand outside your window and sing to you. I like fairy-tales and hope you do too.
I am not going to attach photos of my rather excellent equipment.
I guess most of this ‘Love Letter’ or as I want to call it ‘Creepy Email’ has been about what I do not wanna do, what I want to do is know you more, I mean, I guess we are the same in the fact that you only state who you are not. You’re not Jodi Picoult, you’re not a soccer mom and you’re not an Eric Clapton fan…
Who are you?
In any case you will be receiving a complementary DNA test kit so that I can find out once and for all who you are. Once you prove who you are I will be willing to fuck you.