The Hellis 100 (11-20)
For my next installment of The Hellis 100 series I’ve decided to tackle a topic that is of tremendous importance to me. A topic so vital to the hearts and minds of Americans everywhere it deserves its own blog post. And that post is:
THE TOP TEN GREATEST MUSTACHES OF ALL TIME
10. DAVID CROSBY – His mustache tips his perception scale from lardass to badass.
9. SHAFT – The mutton chops help, but that doesn’t make him any less of a–shut your mouth!
8. SALVIDOR DALI – Uh, I have no reason to include this other than the man had balls to pull this look off. And lots of melty clocks.
7. PRESIDENT THEODORE ROOSEVELT – Teddy did for mustaches what Lincoln did for beards.
6. FREDDIE MERCURY – He gave whole new meaning to the term Mustache = Masculinity.
5. PAUL TEUTUL – His mustache alone could kick a grown man’s ass.
4. GROUCHO MARX – It was between him and Hitler so….yeah.
3. BURT REYNOLDS – Can you even picture the Bandit without a mustache? I sure can’t.
2. MAGNUM P.I. – Who knew one mustache could completely reverse what Freddie Mercury set in motion?
1. And the number one greatest mustache of all time belongs to…SAM ELLIOTT. If God has a mustache, it will look like this: