The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

The Hellis 100 (41-50)

Let me explain the process for which I selected this next installment of The Hellis 100. You’ll notice below that I have uploaded ten songs to this post. These are not a representation of songs that I am necessarily a fan of; they are songs that I have to sing no matter where I am or what I am doing at the time. So I give you…


10. BEST OF MY LOVE – Emotions

9. FUCK YOU – Cee Lo Green

8. SAFETY DANCE – Men Without Hats



5. LOVE ME DEAD – Ludo

4. TRIBUTE – Tenacious D

3. BLACK WIDOW – Alice Cooper

2. SPACE ODDITY – David Bowie


26 responses

  1. At one time in the 90s, believe it or not, I was married to a lady with 3 kids. The eldest was a boy of 12. Around that time the movie “Wayne’s World” was popular and unknown by me your choice for #1 on this list was used in that movie.

    So, I had Chris and his best friend, Haven, in the car and we we’re going to get burritos. A familiar song came on the radio and I turned it up. You have to know for this to be any good that I am a terrific vocal mimic and can match lots of different voices including Freddy Mercury’s voice. I proceeded to sing along with the song and the guys, having no idea it wasn’t a brand new song, were completely freaked out that I knew every nuance of it. For a brief moment I was suddenly insanely cool.

    I will always remember the joy of their being so flabbergasted that an old guy would know a hip piece of music. I haven’t been cool or hip since. LOL

    I can do David Bowie, too. You just have to imagine: “This is ground control to Major Tom . . .

    January 26, 2012 at 1:49 am

    • That’s an awesome story. I love that most of today’s music is a remixed version of something either I or my parents listened to as a kid. It always cracks me up when one of them plays something that I sing along to and they are shocked. Of course, once I do that the song ceases to be cool.

      January 26, 2012 at 4:22 pm

  2. I think most people get taken over by something when Bohemian Rhapsody is heard, strange power that it has.

    How about a song that sticks in your head all day when it plays, but everyone loves it anyway but makes me want to insert sharp objects in my ears and scoop my brians out: Dexy’s Midnight Runners “Come on Eilleen” I can’t stand it – drives me insane!

    January 26, 2012 at 5:59 am

    • Oh God, that’s the second worst song ever. I think the worst is PASS THE DUTCHIE.

      January 26, 2012 at 4:22 pm

  3. Oh god. “The end of the world as we know it.” πŸ˜› But Space oddity made up for it.

    January 26, 2012 at 6:49 am

    • To this day I cannot successfully sing “end of the world” but I’ve got Space Oddity down cold.

      January 26, 2012 at 4:24 pm

  4. I haven’t thought of Safety Dance since before I first heard it.

    January 26, 2012 at 7:25 am

    • That’s a hell of a sentence there, John. πŸ™‚

      January 26, 2012 at 4:24 pm

  5. Great. At least five songs I won’t be able to get out of my head today, but why, oh why, is Safety Dance the leader?? I hate that song. They can all fight it out in my brain.

    January 26, 2012 at 7:38 am

    • Wow…I had no idea the visceral reaction Safety Dance would bring! I’m glad I didn’t include “She Drives Me Crazy” by Fine Young Cannibals.

      January 26, 2012 at 4:26 pm

  6. I heart Celo and his “fuck you” song…but of course, you probs already guessed that one. Nice list.

    January 26, 2012 at 7:39 am

    • Thanks! And it drives me nuts when I hear people sing the “Forget You” version. I whisper “Fuck You” under my breath because yeah, I’m that juvenile.

      January 26, 2012 at 4:27 pm

  7. I love Tribute. It’s on one of my playlists and I laugh every time I listen to it.

    January 26, 2012 at 7:44 am

    • With every blog post I become more and more convinced that you and I were separated at birth.

      January 26, 2012 at 4:28 pm

  8. Can’t forget “We are the Champions” by Queen! I bonded with my daughter and her boyfriend this summer when we were driving up to the cottage and playing this and Bohemian Rhapsody on my ipod. I think her boyfriend decided right then and there that I was “cool” πŸ™‚ Oh and certainly can’t forget “Bridge over troubled Waters”!!! S&G really did that one right! Now I’ll be singing all day long! πŸ™‚

    January 26, 2012 at 8:03 am

    • My favorite song to sing as an annoying pre-teen was the Beatles “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?” It was my parents music so they couldn’t say anything. I thought I was so clever.

      January 26, 2012 at 4:30 pm

  9. Great post! If you want to end a party with a communal orgasm, demand that everyone get together at the end of the night and mutually sing “Bohemian Rhapsody”. I did it at a party for 75 in our backyard, and it was the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen (or heard!).

    January 26, 2012 at 5:43 pm


      January 26, 2012 at 5:46 pm

      • I’m telling you it will be great. Just set up the stereo for guidance… and watch the collective euphoria. (and have a video camera going so you can post it…but you were already thinking that)

        January 26, 2012 at 5:54 pm

        • Oh yes I was!!!

          January 27, 2012 at 10:04 am

  10. Some definite irresistible songs here. The Bare Naked Ladies have another one that I can’t resist singing to, (which scares the neighbours and attracts every tomcat in the area) called “If I Had A Million Dollars”

    January 26, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    • I can see the attraction to needing to sing this song incessantly. Another good one for me is Love Rollercoaster by The Ohio Players. For someone with as little to no vocal talent as I have this song is a can’t miss.

      January 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

  11. The number 1 sing along dong of all time had to be Orion by Metallica. That’s an HR answer for ya to think on.

    January 26, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    • Such an ass.

      January 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

  12. You left out Ting Tings – That’s not my name.
    Hate that band, hate that song. Always gets stuck in my head.
    Seen em. Big Mistake.

    January 26, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    • That’s almost, ALMOST as bad as Tic Tock by Kesha (I refuse to include the $ symbol because it’s stupid).

      January 27, 2012 at 10:09 am