The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Les Broke My Cherry

That’s right people, I have been deflowered. Les the Great over at Bestbathroombooks gave me my first interview ever for Book One of my THE GODS OF ASPHALT series. Just as you might expect, it was long and hard and filled with tires.


See for yourself by taking a hop over to Bestbathroombooks for his review and my interview. Don’t forget to stop by his own book page where you can pick up a copy of TOILETRY FROM A-Z where a portion of the proceeds go to colon cancer research.

And don’t worry, he’ll be gentle.

28 responses

  1. I think we have to talk….

    February 25, 2012 at 1:28 pm

  2. This is the BEST POST EVER! The writing, the research, the intense soul-searching apocolyptic urgency cannot be over-stated. Simply amazingly, ground-breaking and (oh shut the f*ck up).
    Thanks H.E.!

    February 25, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    • “Apocalyptic urgency” is the best phrase I’ve heard in a while. It sounds like how I describe needing to use the restroom on road trips.

      February 25, 2012 at 7:09 pm

  3. And here I thought I was going to be the lucky one, you harlot!

    February 25, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    • Did I already nail you?

      February 25, 2012 at 7:09 pm

  4. talker96

    Wait….all I had to do in order to pop your cherry was to interview you?

    February 25, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    • You snooze, you lose.

      February 25, 2012 at 7:10 pm

  5. Ohh wait a moment… Damn Cherry’s, why are they so easy to brake!? Anyway one step closer to fame my friend 😉

    February 25, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    • That’s right! James Maslow and our red carpet is looking clearer and clearer!

      February 25, 2012 at 7:10 pm

      • Ohhh I have one for you, George Rainsford!

        February 26, 2012 at 2:43 am

  6. Excellent interview.

    Perhaps there’s a “Zen and The Art of Tire Stacking” in your future.

    February 25, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    • Now I want to write a novel just so I have a reason to use that title!

      February 25, 2012 at 7:11 pm

  7. Damn that Les, anyways, I have the Biography (^.^) .
    I saw his post earlier and I’ve nicely bookmarked it on my desktop for when I finish your book 😀 .

    February 25, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    • Great! Although, I don’t think there are any spoilers.

      February 25, 2012 at 8:03 pm

  8. Well, I guess I can cross that item off the Bucket List…..

    February 25, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    • I spit my drink all over my keyboard once I got that. Thanks.

      February 26, 2012 at 5:02 am

  9. Not the Broth

    And so tonight, Old Friend, you have earned my raised scotch glass. Yes. Yes, damn right you should heave in stunned awe! Gasp like a decked perch, Amigo! (Though I’d keep the flopping to a minimum as you probably aren’t getting as much calcium as you should). Oh yes, while I usually save my evening sláinte for a particularly pithy reply on Squidbillies or an acrobatic anomaly from one of the resident felines, THIS sláinte goes to your deflowering, hopefully followed by commercial success and acclaim! And why? Why do I bask in the prospect of your achievements? Because one day this will all turn into a surplus of gas money for you which will place me in the passenger seat of your vehicle, flask in one hand, cig in the other, leaning out the window screaming at the peasants to let you pass… And by peasants, I mean our respective families. Shall we trample them, my love? Will you raise you glass to mine?

    February 25, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    • Since you are clearly drunk I shall speak to you in parceled phrases:

      Roger Waters.
      The Wall Tour.

      El Guapo gets a t-shirt.

      February 26, 2012 at 5:05 am

      • Not the Broth

        You. Are. Driving.

        February 26, 2012 at 9:44 am

        • We’ll take Frank Stallone, better known as “The Metallicar.”

          February 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm

          • Not the Broth

            You could put me in motherfucking Chitty Chitty Bang Bang looping only ‘What’s New Pussycat’ and I’d be happy… just let me smoke and drink and taunt pedestrians. But, yeah, you – me – Frank Stallone. This is a thing that must be done. And without Don Knotts, cuz, you know, that motherfucker parties to hard for me… shit! He parties to hard for Charlie Sheen! Wait. Is good old DK dead? Hmm, what about Abe?

            Maybe we should bring my stoner dog, you know, for protection. Or, at least, maybe he’ll share his stash…

            February 26, 2012 at 9:51 pm

            • I don’t dare Google if DK is dead after that whole Vincent Price debacle. If you bring your dog, make sure he switches dealers. That last shit was all sticks and stems. This is the 21st century, yo.

              February 27, 2012 at 5:49 am

  10. I am so glad to read that you will be taking Frank Stallone. For some odd reason I’m all out of cool cars for you to steal. On a side note, I have recently acquired a tow truck. I’m ready for YOUR little trip.

    February 27, 2012 at 6:39 am

    • Screw the tow truck. What I’m gonna need is bail money.

      February 27, 2012 at 6:42 am

  11. You need bail money? 2 words for you,

    BOOK 2.

    February 27, 2012 at 6:50 am