The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Trifecta Challenge

Thanks to Trask Avenue, Sandy, Hotspur and El Guapo I am compelled to do my own version of the Trifecta Challenge. My apologies for missing the deadline but I’m a blogging loser lately.

“For this weekend’s Trifecta Challenge, we are asking for a 33-word response to the picture below. Make what you will of it; there are no rules. Poetry, prose, comedy, drama–just give us 33 words, on the button. Have fun with it.”

“Look right here. I’m telling you honey, it will fit. I’m sure of it.”

“I don’t care if it will fit. I’m not doing it because it’s gross. Wait, where is my mother?”

32 responses

  1. Wonderful!
    And now I see how you identified “twisted” so easily in mine…

    February 27, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    • Yes, yes. Warped minds think alike.

      February 27, 2012 at 5:37 pm

  2. No ‘she gave him head’ or ‘skullfucking’ or ‘he slipped her the bone’ or anything?

    February 27, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    • This ‘Hotspur’ you keep talking about – he’s kind of a douche. Why do you hang out with him?

      February 27, 2012 at 5:48 pm

      • All these ‘Do Not’s – are you trying some reverse psychology?

        February 27, 2012 at 5:49 pm


          February 27, 2012 at 5:57 pm

          • I notice things. I collect facts and information, and keep the vast majority of it to myself.

            February 27, 2012 at 6:11 pm

      • I don’t have choice. He thinks of things exactly five seconds before I do. I think he’s a witch.

        February 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm

        • Maybe his mind is like an ongoing electrical storm, with lightning striking every 5 seconds. Or maybe it’s like the Great Red Spot on Jupiter, which is halfway between here and Uranus.

          February 27, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    • I’m practicing my “show don’t tell” skills. Although, I do liked “he slipped her the bone.”

      February 27, 2012 at 5:59 pm

      • ORLY? Then by all means, start showing!

        February 27, 2012 at 6:10 pm

        • Haha!

          February 27, 2012 at 7:23 pm

          • Less laughing. More showing.

            February 27, 2012 at 7:39 pm

            • My blog space on shows up to size double “D.”

              Ba dum bum.

              February 27, 2012 at 7:41 pm

              • 😉

                February 27, 2012 at 7:53 pm

              • You’re trying to trick us. You’ve shown us pictures of your entire car. You fit completely inside that car. QED

                February 27, 2012 at 8:08 pm

                • Drat! Foiled again!

                  February 27, 2012 at 8:24 pm

  3. Ha!

    February 27, 2012 at 6:49 pm

  4. Nice. And none of that self deprecating shit (as a friend likes to say to me) – you are not a blogging loser, just fashionably late.

    P.S. I think you’re a blogging shining star!

    February 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    • Uh oh…that sounded suspiciously like an award nomination…. 🙂

      February 27, 2012 at 7:24 pm

      • No award, just a little Earth, Wind & Fire on the brain.

        February 27, 2012 at 7:28 pm

        • Aww yeah….

          February 27, 2012 at 7:38 pm

  5. I said screw me like a man, like a bull.

    Not WITH a mandible.

    Sorry dear I’ll clean it off.

    February 27, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    • Nicely done.

      February 27, 2012 at 7:24 pm

  6. “I’m telling you, it doesn’t go together this way.”

    “That’s what the instructions say.”

    “Those things are never right. Now I have to call some fucking customer service idiot. Fucking cheapass Walmart shit.”

    February 27, 2012 at 9:26 pm


      Never buy a snow shovel from there, by the way.

      February 28, 2012 at 7:38 am

      • Or skeletons. They don’t include the batteries with those, by the way.

        February 28, 2012 at 9:38 am

  7. Wouldn’t that be a double trifecta?

    February 27, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    • My brain just seized on the math.

      February 28, 2012 at 7:39 am

  8. Honey, those teeth were good enough for my grandma, they are good enough for you

    February 28, 2012 at 6:12 am

    • Haha! That’s what I love about you ‘bytes; you’re funny without working blue. Not a skill I have developed, but I’m working on it. 🙂

      February 28, 2012 at 7:40 am