*** UPDATE – SANTA CLAUS ***
North Pole – In a bizarre twist of events today in the North Pole, the ongoing troubles of Santa Claus just went from bad to worse. Jose Baez, prominent defense attorney for Casey Anthony, appeared on behalf of Mr. Claus today at the Superior Court of the North Pole to file multiple appeals and motions relating to the case against Mr. Claus. This troubling case started with the arrest of Claus on January 2nd this year on drug and prostitution charges.
Also before the judge presiding was the Prosecuting Attorney, who declined a public statement. However, based on comments by Mr. Baez there are a host of additional charges being brought against his client. Although he did not enumerate them, he did allude to tax evasion, fraud, money laundering, and other charges related to unsafe business practices.
“These additional charges against Mr. Claus, a man of sterling character, are nothing more than a witch hunt,” Mr. Baez said.
As the rumors spread on the court steps, Mr. Baez responded to questions about the integrity of his client by saying, “Any fan of Law and Order knows this is nothing but a fishing expedition by the Prosecution, and a poorly-disguised one at that. Bill Clinton ran a cleaner campaign than the Prosecution has conducted with this case.”
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a source close to the District Attorney’s office stated that there had been some calls from U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, adding an international flavor to the mix.
“The U.S. has no dog in this fight,” Baez said when asked about this information, adding, “The efforts of the U.S., Canada, and Greenland to muddle this case and cast aspersions on my client are nothing but rumors of the worst kind.”
The local rumor mill, already overcharged by events surrounding these events, went wild when star attorney Gloria Allred was spotted at the airport hustling from a chartered jet into a limousine. This spurred rumors that Mrs. Claus had retained her representation in connection with her husband’s mounting legal difficulties.
H.E. Ellis is an author, blogger and all around menace on leave for current assignment at the North Pole. Regular blogging is scheduled to resume on March 17, 2012.