The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Sawyer SPaM

This seems really odd to say, but today is the birthday I assigned the character of Sawyer in my novel, The Gods of Asphalt. His birthday features prominently in the book so I thought I’d answer some questions I’ve been asked over the past year about his character.

1. Why did you pick April 30th for his birthday?

I knew from the beginning he would wreck a motorcycle on his birthday so I needed it to take place during warm weather– but before his high school graduation. Research revealed that Nebraska high schools let out the first weekend in May so there was my time crunch. I wanted the added insult of him screwing up his life the instant it became his to own. Besides, Sawyer shares his birthday with someone pretty awesome.

2. Why did you pick Sawyer for his name?

Sawyer is sort of a default name. In my real life there is a real River, although he is nothing like the River character (I based the River character on someone elses life entirely). I always knew that I would name the character of the blonde older brother River, so I had to think of a name that was in the same vein for the younger brother. Thus Sawyer was born, and not Steve.

3. Why is Sawyer so tall?

Sawyer is tall because it allows him to be good at basketball. Sawyer needed a way out of his father’s life so I gave him basketball because it offers scholarships as well as being the perfect sport for a kid who lives on the road. Football requires gear, baseball requires a team, track requires good weather but basketball can be played anywhere, anytime with anyone. All you need is a ball.

4. Why do you describe Sawyer looking the way you do?

My kids helped with this one. My son Junior HATES being called pretty when compared to his good-looking, blonde older brother Prince Charming. I described Sawyer to my daughter and she instantly pulled up a television show called BIG TIME RUSH and said, “I think you are describing this guy.” In that moment James Maslow became my vision for Sawyer. I even wrote a little snippet in my book for him. I’m my daughter’s hero for that.

5. Why is Sawyer’s jersey number 13?

Because number 13 belongs to Steve Nash, my all time favorite basketball player.

6. How come Sawyer can sing?

Because I can’t. No, seriously; basketball was what Sawyer was good at, but music was what he loved and what his mother robbed him of.

7. Does Sawyer ever get Sarah?


23 responses

  1. All around awesomeness, I would say!

    Ummmm, when is the next book going to be ready?

    April 30, 2012 at 9:22 pm

  2. I am working on it now, and it is definitely going to be much shorter than book one, that’s for sure.

    April 30, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    • That’s just to hold the attentio….. Ooh shiny.

      April 30, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    • nonono, we want LONGER and MORE!!!

      May 1, 2012 at 10:16 pm

      • Really? Did you just meet me? You know I can’t let this go without a “That’s what she said.” I’m such a grown-up.

        May 2, 2012 at 2:18 am

  3. The Devil is in the details. It’s a good thing you didn’t go for April 20th. What with all this info about the book on your blog, I’ll never need to read it. LOL

    May 1, 2012 at 12:07 am

    • April 20th? Yeah, I’m not sure I could get anyone to read it then. πŸ˜‰

      May 1, 2012 at 6:00 am

  4. Yes, Sawyer gets Sarah. By “gets” you mean understands, right? Good luck on the sequel/prequel.

    May 1, 2012 at 12:30 am

    • Thanks! It’s coming along.

      May 1, 2012 at 6:00 am

  5. One moment while I concentrate, James Maslow – I would lick him all over. OK, done. I think you should have a Hellis children SPaM, that way they can tell us how amazing we already know you are ahaha. Junior is not pretty, end of conversation.

    May 1, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    • Yeah…I’m not so sure my kids would say exactly that. More like, “My mom? Total embarrassment.”

      May 1, 2012 at 12:40 pm

      • Don’t sweat it, I think your a total babe πŸ˜‰ ahaha

        May 1, 2012 at 12:45 pm

        • Thanks Megan. You’re sweet. πŸ˜‰

          May 1, 2012 at 1:09 pm

          • Plus only the best people on the planet are born in April πŸ˜‰

            May 1, 2012 at 2:13 pm

            • Hey! January over here!

              May 2, 2012 at 2:16 am

              • I guess people born in January are pretty cool too πŸ˜‰

                May 2, 2012 at 11:26 am

  6. He gets her in the end. Boo-ya!

    May 1, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    • Watch it Hotspur. This is a family blog.

      Oh who am I kidding…

      May 2, 2012 at 2:17 am

      • Right. You can’t make families from anal.

        May 2, 2012 at 6:15 am

        • Yeah, they always turn out to be assholes.

          May 2, 2012 at 6:21 am

          • Or you get a bunch of little shit’s running around.

            May 2, 2012 at 6:25 am

  7. Great spam of a great character.
    You should have made him a lacrosse player.

    May 1, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    • I love lacrosse, but for some reason all I see is River forever smacking Sawyer upside the head with the stick. Actually, that would have been pretty funny.

      May 2, 2012 at 2:20 am