The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Shit My Kid Does – Five


A Chinese Restaurant where a mother and her son, Junior, are enjoying dinner.


A waiter delivering food.

WAITER: “Thank you very much. Enjoy your meal.”

The Mother returns the thank you as Junior eyes the waiter suspiciously.

Exit the waiter.

Junior’s unbroken gaze follows the waiter the length of the return walk to the kitchen.

The Mother, confused, asks Junior what he’s thinking.

A look of contempt crosses Junior’s face as he leans across the table and whispers:

“Worst. Ninja. EVER.”

12 responses

  1. You just can’t get the staff these days 😉

    June 11, 2012 at 5:12 am

    • I know what you mean. Pretty soon they’ll be employing Samurais at my local deli.

      June 11, 2012 at 10:28 am

  2. I have a Shit my Kids Says story. Last year, while he was 8, we were in a crowded Pizza Delight restaurant when he looks up at me and says loudly “Dad, That thing that my bird sits on keeps sticking to my leg”….I was a bit embarrassed and he ended up in the tub immediately when we got home!!

    June 11, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    • Oh my God that is too funny!

      June 11, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    • I’m going to stop thinking about this now.

      June 11, 2012 at 2:24 pm

  3. Maybe he didn’t notice the 9 people he assassinated while he dropped off the food?

    June 11, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    • Maybe the best Ninja ever is the Ninja you least expect.


      June 12, 2012 at 10:01 am

  4. I wonder if the first waiter was just distracting your son so the other ninjas could dump spicy mustard on his food…

    June 11, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    • “Spicy Mustard Ninjas”

      I feel a graphic novel coming on…

      June 12, 2012 at 10:02 am

  5. I want to have kids so I can have that daily comedic relief before having to go to therapy to deal with having kids.

    June 14, 2012 at 3:07 pm