The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Here is a blog from aperitif from my good friend ElGuapo to cleanse your palette between bites of my literary distastefulness.


Today’s Music: Nina Simone – I Put A Spell On You

As promised (threatened?) here is the Harry Potter Limerick Omnibus! (Sounds so much more dignified than it really is…)
None of the limericks have been edited, except for the titles to make them more consistent.

Book One: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

A young boy with a scar on his head
His parents, both sadly were dead
When he reached age eleven,
thought he’d been admitted to heaven

But had to fight the “2 headed” teacher instead.

Book Two: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Everyone said that it was a secret
But Harry’s interest was piqued
Guilderoy was no help –
At his own shadow he yelped.

But with a phoenix, the basilisk was beated.

Book Three: Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

The dog in the bushes was mysterious.
Harry though that he…

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4 responses

  1. Wow, that guys bent.
    I’d much rather read your stuff!

    August 28, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    • Spoken like someone who hasn’t read it yet. I wasn’t joking about the disclaimer. It’s…a, I’ll say “messed up” and leave it at that.

      August 29, 2012 at 10:05 pm

  2. I wonder if I’m the only “person-who-reads” who’s never read a single word of any Harry Potter book. Someday…

    August 28, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    • Believe it or not, I know one who hasn’t read it and he’s a big time reader. Mostly SciFi. I am trying to get him to consider it, but he’s not budging.

      August 29, 2012 at 10:07 pm