The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate


My Dear Earth Friend,

I know this proposal letter might be a pleasant surprise to you as we don’t know ourselves before. I am from Earth born 25 years ago, now seeking asylum in Purgatory under (OHD). I contacted you as a cause of my serious search for a reliable and trust worthy person that can handle such a confidential transaction of this nature.

My Late father former Defense Minister under the regime Ex president of Hell, but was assassinated by the rebels during the civil war and properties destroyed, but I narrowly escaped with some very important documents entitled REAPERS WITH ISSUES valued at $4.99 of U.S Dollars deposited by my late father in a high financial company here in Purgatory. Other items of a virtual nature are valued at $1.99 U.S Dollars to be hidden inside devices such as Kindles or Nooks.

However, I seek with the problem of securing a trust worthy foreign blog personality like you to help me transfer these documents pending when I will come over to your Earth for us to meet for investment of the money. On commencement of this transaction I want to let you understand that the future of myself and of my fellow document experts H.E. Ellis, S. Quinn Shaw, Tom Elias and Mikhail Vlakfeld and depends solely on this money. So please keep this business to yourself only to avoid raise eye brow of any third party aliens.

I am eagerly expecting your urgent response.

Yours Sincerely,

Abaniye Adophe Mikopka-Reaper

11 responses

  1. This is very clever! It’s £1.30 in England 😉

    September 1, 2012 at 3:56 am

    • I hope that’s good.

      September 1, 2012 at 9:31 am

  2. TomEliasWriter


    September 1, 2012 at 8:35 am

    • Yes we are. Be prepared for others to disagree. We did write one of the most politically incorrect books known to man.

      September 1, 2012 at 9:32 am

      • TomEliasWriter

        Stupid me. And here I thought we BASED our books on that one book…

        September 1, 2012 at 10:56 am

        • I’ll save you a seat on the bus to Hell.

          September 1, 2012 at 11:03 am

  3. H.E., though your GOA books (well, I’ve only read the one, but I’m betting I’ll like the others just as much) are great, I think you may have a big winner here. Very clever, original, with your humor, and the covers and titles are clever. I hope it sells for you. I’ll probably get a Kindle or similar thing this fall or winter and get it that way. By the way, it was 107 degrees in Valentine the other day, and some little town in Dakota-land tied Bullhead City or some such Arizona town for the nation’s high of 113 that day!

    September 1, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    • Good Lord, son 107? If I didn’t know better, I’d swear my sinnin’ was catchin’ up to me.

      Sorry. I just had to let the Gus out.

      September 1, 2012 at 7:16 pm

  4. I don’t send funds to foreign countries or foreigners on principle – sorry!!!

    September 4, 2012 at 1:51 am

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