The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate


Yes, you are correct, it is my birthday. I know this to be true because I follow Edward Hotspur’s blog and El Guapo’s blog and Ginger’s blog and Sandy’s blog (as well as kind email wishes from Trask Avenue, LeClown, and many a sweet comment from my good friends John E. and PMAO). All better blogs than mine, because quite honestly I completely forgot it was my birthday until I read them. Wait…more to the truth I forgot again that it was my birthday since my kick-arse British friend Megan wished me a Happy Birthday the night before (suck it, HR and Elias. She beat you to it).

It’s been through these good people that I’ve made even more friends today, and perhaps have even sold a book or two. That being said, I am not sure mere words can describe what all your birthday wishes mean to me. Without knowing me personally, you may not understand what a Dickensian upbringing I had, and how kind words and well wishes I never received as a child mean the world to me now. You have all become my family, and I am grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you for sharing my day.


49 responses

  1. Scarlett DuBois

    Happy birthday hun!!!! xxx

    January 15, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    • Thanks! So far it’s been the best one yet!

      January 15, 2013 at 7:30 pm

  2. You are awesome. Sorry about sort of hijacking it – I forgot to disable comments this time. I did or redid about 4 posts about you and your books today. I hope they helped make you a having the good of a birthday!

    January 15, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    • ARE YOU KIDDING?? IT WAS AMAZING!! DON’T CHANGE A THING!! This has been without a doubt the best birthday ever, and you are a big reason why, EH. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

      Not for nothing, but I’m not sure how “from the bottom of my heart” is a compliment. It is, just the same.

      January 15, 2013 at 7:39 pm

      • I guess it’s a great compliment coming from the dearly deep-hearted! ha ha

        You’re the best. No, you are! I have a question for you.

        January 15, 2013 at 8:01 pm

        • Sure. Lay it on me.

          January 15, 2013 at 8:05 pm

          • I will in some way later. It’s about books.

            January 15, 2013 at 8:06 pm

  3. Ok ok, I can take a back seat to the lovely Ms. Megan. Happy B-day to you HE. I would have written a post for you but I didn’t read Hotspurs blog until just now ie I forgot. Stay tuned, I’ll get one for you hopefully before next year. πŸ™‚

    January 15, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    • Don’t hurt yourself. πŸ˜‰

      January 15, 2013 at 7:41 pm

      • Oh you went there.. Ok, hold on I’m getting a call..,

        Yep I’ll tell her.

        Hey HE, Vincent Price says have a happy birthday too..
        He also said see you later πŸ˜‰
        Not sure what that means but there ya go.

        January 15, 2013 at 8:21 pm

  4. Happy Birthday, Ms. Ellis! I’m having a glass of wine to celebrate your special day!

    January 15, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    • Thanks, Sandy! Here’s our song for tonight:

      January 15, 2013 at 8:02 pm

  5. Rock on, and Happy Birthday, HE!
    Hotspur put the word out for this, and we were all too happy to oblige.
    (I mean way too happy – seriously, someone needs to calm Ginger down.)

    January 15, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    • Aww…I’ll share my Ritalin with her. Thank you all. πŸ™‚

      January 15, 2013 at 8:06 pm



      January 15, 2013 at 9:02 pm

      • OMG I just lost it at “Guapfart.”

        January 15, 2013 at 9:04 pm

  6. Happy Birthday from Big Angry, Johnny Rants and me o course, H.E.! Here’s to more book sales, and hoping WordPress goes to a “pay per post” format!

    January 15, 2013 at 10:09 pm

    • Ha! I am honored to be remembered by Tthe Throwdown crew. I am loving your posts lately. They are extra angry. πŸ˜‰

      January 18, 2013 at 12:53 pm

  7. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOUNG’N! I hope it was memorable one. When you get to be my age they just seem to disappear into a gooey miasma of desserts and gifts I never wanted. Cheers and many, many more!

    January 15, 2013 at 10:45 pm

    • Thanks! I hope yours are good as well, and I hope tomorrow brings a world of peace and harmony among ALL people.

      January 18, 2013 at 12:52 pm

  8. Happy Birthday H.E. Best wishes for a great year

    January 15, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    • Thanks! It’s been a good one so far.

      January 18, 2013 at 12:47 pm

  9. Looks like I just missed the window. :/

    Happy belated Birthday!

    January 16, 2013 at 1:21 am

    • You are a busy, busy man, so no worries. Also, I have a certain guest blogger post just about ready for you! I think you’ll find it interesting.

      January 18, 2013 at 12:47 pm

  10. Oh, to have made you even the least bit happy is a goal worthy of having chased…

    January 16, 2013 at 11:31 am

    • You have! No birthday is complete without PMAO!

      January 18, 2013 at 12:45 pm

      • Maybe I should rent myself out for parties.

        January 18, 2013 at 1:14 pm

  11. Running my usual almost-a-day late, I have no birthday blog for you. It would only have been buried under the avalanche of talent that you attract. Happy Birthday Sweety. You don’t look a day over five feet tall.

    January 16, 2013 at 11:04 pm

    • I about pissed myself laughing at that one.

      January 18, 2013 at 12:45 pm

  12. Happy extra belated! I’m super late for the partay, but my sentiments are true…yeah. Hope you had a fucking awesome birthday…and stuff. My name has changed, but my fucking personality is still here…somewhere….

    January 17, 2013 at 8:17 am

    • Visit F*cked up- Fairy Tales page up top and join in!

      January 18, 2013 at 12:44 pm

  13. New follower, so I wasn’t invited to the party & I’m way behind in my reading – but Happy Birthday HE!

    January 17, 2013 at 11:34 pm

    • Thank you! Come back anytime.

      January 18, 2013 at 12:43 pm

  14. Where have you been? I need your help. I did a post that explains it all, but I am going ahead and publishing the novel. I have so many questions and you are my hero and I need help and I am rambling and freaking out and… deep breath… I will be gone most of the day, but I have these wuestions and I hate to bother you, but… so whenever you have some free time, please email me or comment box me or whatever and… no pressure or anything…

    January 18, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    • Absolutely! I am at work now but I’ll send you an email this evening. I am so excited!

      January 18, 2013 at 12:43 pm

  15. Hope you had the happiest of birthdays!!!! πŸ™‚

    January 18, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    • I did! Thanks for sharing it with me!

      January 20, 2013 at 9:32 am

  16. Happy Birthday H.E. I sure hope it was a good one!

    January 18, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    • It was, but now it’s even better because you stopped by!

      January 20, 2013 at 9:32 am

  17. Roly

    Hope you had a wonderful happy birthday πŸ™‚ btw I and my computer have both been receiving care and attention and I am pleased to say I can now read and comment again. Long may it last…….

    January 20, 2013 at 3:48 am

  18. Pingback: CAPRICORN – The Insipid Wanker of the Blogosphere « H.E. ELLIS

  19. kat

    Oops, crap, majorly late, but happy birthday!

    January 30, 2013 at 11:26 am

    • No problem! This means I get to be happy today!

      January 30, 2013 at 3:22 pm

  20. Happy belated Birthday!

    February 24, 2013 at 3:34 pm