The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Essa On Everything

Subject: H.E. Ellis of the same name site H.E. Ellis

Location; Rural New Hampshire in wintertime

I peer out the window of the airport and all I can see is white. A cabbie takes my suitcase and comments on what a mild spring day it is. I am unable to respond as we step out the door; my lips have frozen to my teeth.  Four cab rides, a horse drawn carriage, a skidoo and a four mile snow shoe hike later, I collapse in a heap by a mailbox.  After a moment, a woman exits the small farmhouse and walks to the mailbox. She is wearing a tank top and jean shorts.

“Boy, that groundhog was right. Spring came early.” She pulls open the mailbox and rolls her eyes as she goes through a stack of letters. “More fucking hate mail for Jodi Picoult. I am not Jodi Picoult!” She…

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11 responses

  1. Tom Elias

    Excellent and well deserved as always. I’m your biggest fan.

    February 22, 2013 at 10:12 am

    • And I’m yours. 😉

      February 23, 2013 at 3:07 pm

  2. Great interview! Didn’t realize it was so warm up there this time of year.

    February 22, 2013 at 10:37 am

    • We New Hampsters refused to pay a “snow” tax.

      February 23, 2013 at 3:07 pm

  3. talker96

    Nice interview….I’m back by the way. Posting on my site even. Can you believe its been one year since I wrote on it?

    February 22, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    • I am prepping your welcome back interview questions right this moment….

      February 23, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      • talker96

        And I am prepping your welcoming me back interviewer interview questions as soon as I’m done with this comment…I will suggest that you wear green to the interview’ otherwise you will get at least four of the questions wrong…..

        February 23, 2013 at 10:58 pm

  4. Impressed, impressed, impressed. That humor’s so dry, it’s brut.

    February 23, 2013 at 2:47 am

    • You are pretty amazing yourself, Archon. 🙂

      February 23, 2013 at 3:08 pm

  5. Your fame is spreading!
    Good work!

    February 24, 2013 at 3:34 pm