The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Funny Blog Friday with Peter…er, Randy Pan?

RandyPan_220wfbfHello Everyone, it’s me, Hellis, live and in person. Well, in spirit. I’ve been away from our little corner of the virtual Utopia we call Blogworld this week because I’ve been spending time with the new love of my life. Yes, people I am in love, and have decided to use the Funny Blog Friday post as an opportunity to introduce him to my world.

The latest object of my affection is a man like no other; he is fun-loving, free-spirited and young at heart. His childlike innocence attracted me immediately and before I knew it, I was hooked. Today I’d like to introduce you to the man who captured my heart and is sure to steal yours. Without further ado I give you…Randy Pan.

peter_stand_largeNow, before some of you start sending emails, let me explain.

Randy isn’t your ordinary, everyday Pan-fan. He’s living his dream everyday in a way that shames me as a writer. It took me a year to work up the testicular fortitude to query agents with my GOA novel while this guy was laying it all out there for the world to see. There was no fear of judgment or harassment on his part. He exposed his life and his soul in an act of bravery that humbles me. And while I will admit that it is taking every bit of self-control to not mock the living shit out of this guy; I have decided a better use of my time would be to honor him here.

So here’s to you, Randy Pan. May your tights not chafe, may your loafers be light, and may every jock who beat you down in high school scratch himself to death because of a raging, unchecked venereal disease.



The other Funny Blog Friday bloggers: VISIT THEM!!

Art of Pouring My Art Out

Victoria of Angst Anarchy

Alanna of White Girls Be Like…

Jamie of Fits of Wit

Jessie of Jessie Reyna

Ben of Ben’s Bitter Blog

Jenn of Properly Ridiculous

Alice of Alice At Wonderland

Lisa of Buddhaful Britt

JC of JCS Bloggery

Sarah of No Cry Babies

Elke of The Pretty Platform

Jack of The Things I see Up Here

Chicks A & E of Too Funny Chicks

Charly of Crazy Life

Kevin of Trailer Trash Deluxe

Karilin of That Nameless Color

23 responses

  1. Randy has a pretty cool backyard shed. What do you suppose Rando keeps in it? Or more to the point, who?

    November 21, 2014 at 8:17 am

  2. This guy.

    November 21, 2014 at 8:20 am

    • Hoisted on my own petard. Touche, Hellis.

      November 21, 2014 at 8:24 am

      • You keep your dirty thoughts to yourself, Mister.

        November 21, 2014 at 8:31 am

        • I was paraphrasing Peter Griffin.

          November 21, 2014 at 9:17 am

  3. And you keeps saying you don’t dabble in speculative fiction. Silly girl.

    Also, I’m thinking that rabbit is a she, not a guy. That makes it even more…

    … I need a drink.

    November 21, 2014 at 8:23 am

    • I’d tell you to hit BrainRants up for some rum, but he drank it all the first time he saw this jacked-up gif.

      November 21, 2014 at 8:33 am

      • Understandable.

        November 21, 2014 at 9:16 am

  4. Randy Pan is all kinds of sexual.

    November 21, 2014 at 9:49 am

  5. And childlike which is not at all creepy.

    November 21, 2014 at 9:56 am

  6. Uh… First of all, love the post. But I am going to let everybody down today. My computer is busted. I cant do links or funny pictures on the ipad. I am a loser.

    November 21, 2014 at 10:06 am

    • No, Steve Jobs is a loser. You are PMAO and you rock. 🙂

      November 21, 2014 at 10:18 am

      • Thanks…and you are absolutely right

        November 21, 2014 at 10:49 am

  7. Loving the freakishly long mushroom bowl and welcoming smile!

    November 21, 2014 at 12:04 pm

  8. Nothing says, “You can trust me with your children” like a grown man with a Little Lord Fauntleroy haircut.

    November 21, 2014 at 12:09 pm

  9. Where does Randy shop? I can never find green tights in my size.

    November 21, 2014 at 12:50 pm

  10. Look…..I’m just happy you’re in love again. Its not my place to say who you spend time with, if Mr. Pan makes you happy then who am I to judge… question though, when you tinker his bell, does it spit pixie dust?

    November 21, 2014 at 2:09 pm

  11. His dedication is inspiring

    November 21, 2014 at 9:31 pm

  12. Hahahahaha! That’s toooo freeeeaaaking funny!
    I diiieeed when I read this.
    Was like yuuup she hasn’t changed at all! 😀

    December 9, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    • You know I never change. 😉

      Watch the JOLLY RANCHERS video and you’ll see how Joey ripped apart the cartilage in his knee. Bonehead.

      December 10, 2014 at 8:03 am

      • Cosette

        No way! I’ll find it right now! Lol

        December 10, 2014 at 11:41 am

  13. It’s at the bottom of this page.:)

    December 10, 2014 at 11:45 am