Answer an Impossible Question and WIN A PRIZE!
When I get bored, which is often, I send my mother random texts to annoy her like, “I lost my Saint Anthony medal and can’t find it.” (shout out to all my Catholic homies who get the significance of this). I also like to send annoying texts sent as people she doesn’t know. It never occurs to her to question who they are from, which makes them that much funnier.
Due to the change in our political climate, I’ve had to cease sending her my favorite kind of text, those from random immigration officers. It’s not so funny anymore now that deportation is a possibility.
I was recently scrolling through my phone, reminiscing, when I found a text that I’d forgotten I’d sent. It read:
I am an officer with the US Department of Immigration informing you that you have been flagged as a potential undocumented alien. (She’s not). In order for you to remain in the USA, you must provide the answer to the following question within the next 24 hours or face deportation:
Who was the first American to vote Republican during the 1895 Butte, Montana Mayoral election?
A correct answer will prove you are a citizen and a Patriot. An incorrect answer will get you a one-way ticket back to the old country ___________, if that is your real name…”
I remember this one in particular because she about lost her mind trying to find the answer to the question. My shenanigans came to a screeching halt when she asked my sister for help.
Finding this text today triggered a thought: Just who was the first American to vote Republican in the 1895 Butte, Montana Mayoral election? I pulled this question straight out of my derriere, so I had no idea the answer. What else was there to do but consult the Google?
I found NOTHING.
Short of personally visiting the archives in Butte, Montana I don’t believe I will ever get an answer to this question. That’s where you come in:
Anyone who can provide the answer to this question, with proof, will receive a FREE paperback copy of my book, THE GODS OF ASPHALT. There is no time limit. The answer to the question can be provided in the comments or emailed to me at heellisgoa at gmail