The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Posts tagged “blog

Start-ups, Writing, and Foot Porn

HE Ellis Blog Fact: "Glenn Close Feet" is #38 on my all time list of search engine terms

HE Ellis Blog Fact: “Glenn Close Feet” is #38 on my list of search engine terms

I hate myself right now.

Not a desperate, self-loathing kind of hate- it’s more of an “ironic trombone” kind.

You see, I decided to trade my uber time-suck of a management job for something part-time in order to free myself up to write and blog and spout my personal irreverent form of rhetoric. This idea sounded good at the time, until I realized that it had been nearly fifteen years since my last job hunt and that I had technically already quit my job (my former boss said so. I asked him).

Now what I am left with is plenty of time not to write, but to search for my awesome new job that will not be an uber time-suck in disguise. So after a whole lot of hits and misses and a sketchy offer of a career in foot porn (my feet are adorable) this happened: (more…)

Hey Archon! Happy Birthday, Eh?


I am taking a rare free moment to honor the birthday of a truly great man and even greater Canadian; Justin Beiber  Archon’s Den!

As a resident of the Canadian Riviera (better known as “New England”) I live in awe of a country that possesses badass versions of all the things we admire ourselves for- moose, maple syrup, hockey, beer, WINTER.

We, as New Englanders, have developed a kind of a hero worship for Canadians because of it- sort of like the kid who thinks he’s good at baseball, but knows for a fact his big brother IS.

This is how I feel about my friend, Archon. He’s every bit the wordsmith and tale-teller I humbly attempt to be- not to mention that he has a heart the size of Canada itself.

Besides, anyone from the same country that gave us SCtv and RUSH isn’t going to be a hoser, eh?

For those of you who have yet to experience this curmudgeonly cunning linguist, click on the Archon-ic moose below for a sampling of one of the cleverest minds the Great White North has to offer. Until then…



Tea Cup Cujo

Light-Apricot-Teacup-Poodle-AAAToday is the first day of the BLOGSHORTS: a ten day, ten story, 110 word writing extravaganza.

Each participating blogger chooses a pooch a day from a list of dogs, thunk-up by our fearless leader, BLOGDRAMEDY, and then writes a short story featuring their dog of choice. Each story is 110 words in length and can feature as much or as little of our canine friend as we like.

My first BLOGSHORTS offering features the legendary horror pooch himself, Cujo, in all his rabid glory.

Well…sort of.

And since I like bloggers far more than I like dogs, I thought it only fair to include a blog friend along with our featured pooch. So with the help of my friend Colton I bring you…


“It came out of nowhere,” Stephen insisted before Colton had the chance to ask. “You gotta believe me. Sucker was huge. AND rabid!”

Stephen offered his leg as proof.

“You sure it was a dog?” Colton asked as he examined an injury that looked more nibbled than mauled.

Stephen muttered an answer but Colton didn’t hear it. He was too busy watching a freshly showered, barely-robed woman untangle her tea cup poodle’s chain from around the bottom rung of a ladder; a ladder Colton was sure he’d seen before.

Grinning ear to ear, Colton leaned down to a blushing Stephen and whispered, “When you retell this story, call him Cujo.”




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Lenore Diane

Fix it or Deal


The Foolishness Of Fandom

WipeoutSong of the day: John Coltrane AFTER THE RAIN

For those of you out there who may not know, today’s birthday boy, El Guapo, was the first adult male fan of my novel, THE GODS OF ASPHALT. As a first time novelist, it was a real trip for me to hear feedback from someone who enjoyed my book as much as he did. New writers are often insecure about their work, and El Guapo made me believe I might actually have something worth writing about.

I’ve always wondered if there was a way that I could repay him for his kind words early on. I decided that his birthday would be the perfect day to thank him. So here’s my gift to you, El Guapo, and it comes in two parts.

Part One:

I am in the process of writing a secret book (yes, in addition to REAPERS and the rest of THE GODS OF ASPHALT series). What I can tell you is that it is set in the seventies and involves the classic rock music scene. I am thinking there is a place in my novel for a character by the name of El Guapo who drives the protagonist’s band’s tour bus, and who has a penchant for Hawaiian shirts. By the way, he gets all the groupies.

Part Two:

As I was writing THE GODS OF ASPHALT I discovered that it was entirely too long, so I cut a scene that never made it into the book. It was an early scene that showed Gus every morning waking up, staring out the window in a longing sort of way, listening to John Coltrane’s After The Rain. I was sad that I had to cut that scene because I really liked it. When I think about it now, I often think you would have liked it too. I may have cut the scene, but I’ve included the song.

Happy Birthday, El Guapo.

Wanna join the party? Visit Momma Red Dwyer for a list of well wishers!