The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Posts tagged “phone

Vote To Rename Benito!

I namebenito_mussolini_02d my phone Benito. Why? Because my phone is a Fascist, that’s why. Fascist in that it starts inputting words as I type- words the phone thinks I want to use, only to guess wrong and insert its own word anyway. You have a phone like that too? Well grab a name tag and a donut because you’re the newest member of my anti-fascist phone support group.

(more…)


Hellis Gets a New Phone and Havoc Ensues

Listen up, guys. Here’s how it all went down.

My former employer requested that I return all equipment assigned to me to perform my job remotely, i.e. laptop and cellphone (the Fascists). Since I do not enjoy being sans communication, I bought myself a brand new phone which came with a brand new number.

Soon I started getting texts from a random person looking to contact “Cindy” who I can only assume had the number before me. Not wanting to be rude, I made a couple of cheesy jokes about the fact that I was not the person they were looking for. Naturally, I deleted those texts thinking this person would get the hint and not contact me again. Then this happened: (more…)