The sub-moronic ramblings of a semi-functioning illiterate

Posts tagged “thoughts

Hellis’ Top Ten Horror Movie Villains

Pennywise018In honor of the season I’ve decided to tackle the topic of horror movie villains. Since no one loves a good horror flick more than I do, I’ve decided no Hellis list could be complete without my ten personal favorites. I give you:

THE TOP TEN SCARIEST HORROR MOVIE VILLAINS OF ALL TIME (more…)


SciFi Face-Off!

Today I have decided to pay homage to the late, great Gene Roddenberry on what would have been his 93rd birthday by conducting an interview I believe he might have enjoyed. Now I ask you, what better way to pay tribute to one of the greatest contributors to the SciFi genre than to have a face-off of Starship Captains? Ladies and gentlemen I give you…

JAMES T. KIRK    VS    JEAN-LUC PICARD

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Earth Day Interview With Gaia

In celebration of Earth Day I’ve decided to take a moment to sit down with Gaia, the Earth Goddess. Hello, Gaia. Thank you for sitting down with us today.

Oh it’s so good to be here, or anywhere for that matter. And thank you for celebrating Earth Day. It’s a small step towards saving my beautiful creation. So many people are so fucking oblivious to what is happening to this magnificent planet it boggles the mind, so thank you for the opportunity to shed a bit of light.

It’s been an unusually warm winter here in the United States. What do you attribute that to? (more…)


It’s the Easter Bunn–uh…Wallaby?

Spring has finally sprung, and with it our interview with everyone’s childhood favorite, the Easter Bunny.

Determined to get an interview with this elusive holiday icon, I cornered him in his underground den and discovered something I’d not expected. I open today’s interview with the question that should have been asked ages ago:

HE: Say…you aren’t really a bunny, are you?

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I Prank You Not

In recognition of April Fool’s Day I scored a rare opportunity to sit down with the God of Mischief, Loki.

HE: “Hello Loki. Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to speak with me and my readers.”

LOKI: “Hi.”

HE: “Uh, that’s it? ‘Hi?’”

LOKI: “Well, I’ve got a lot on my plate. You do realize what day this is, right? Nice fucking time management there, Chickie.” (more…)


Interview with the King of the Leprechauns

Today for our holiday interview we are lucky to have with us Fergus O’Malley, King of the Leprechauns.

You seem angry, Fergus. Can you tell us why?

Because of today, that’s why. We Leprechauns spend every Saint Paddy’s Day in hiding.

But I would have thought you’d be happy on Saint Patrick’s Day. Isn’t it an Irish holiday?

Saint Patrick can kiss my arse. His holiday has nuttin’ to do with Leprechauns or the Irish. It has to do with him bein’ chuffed and converting pagans to Christians. Patty boy can take his church and stuff it. (more…)